CLOSED - LCB August HaHaHa Contest

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      Lipstick

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      LCB August HaHaHa Contest

      Win, lose or draw, a laugh a day keeps the color in your cheeks, passion in your heart, sparkle in your eye and the spirit in us all alive and well!



      Its’ time to bring some sunshine in da LCB House with laughter! We want to read your funny gambling jokes, stories or your own illustrated comic strip pic like we have here LCB Comics!

      There is $500 in LCB Shop Cash up for grabs. Use your LCB Cash to purchase items in the LCB Shop exclusively.

      **IMPORTANT** – All personal funny gambling stories must be ORIGINAL content. Copying a story from another source and claiming it as your own is strictly prohibited and any member who does will be disqualified from contest.

      Tell us your favorite Casino/Gambling jokes, stories or comic strip illustrations and win:
      LCB Shop Cash Prizes:

      2 - $25 winners
      2 - $15 winners
      21 - $10 winners
      42 - $5 winners

      That adds up to a staggering 67 winning LCB members! Winners will be determined by the LCB team.

      To access your LCB Shop Cash find the drop down menu under your name in the top left corner above the header and click “Redeem Credits”. Purchase gifts in our shop with your LCB Shop Cash. It’s as easy as that!



      RULES

      1. Only ONE entry is allowed per member in EACH category. That means a MAX total of 3 posts are allowed per member – one post for joke, one post for funny casino story and one post for comic strip pic.

      2. To qualify for this contest you must be a member for at least one month. In this case only members that have joined on or before July 11th, 2014 are eligible.

      3. Any member having more than one account to enter contest will be disqualified.

      4. Contest period ends on September 5th, 2014 at 11:59 EST.

      5. LCB has the right to end this contest at any time and void all wins should any unforeseen issues arise or abuse is indicated.

      6. LCB Cash can ONLY be redeemed in the LCB Shop.

      7. Prize money can be redeemed immediately or can be accumulated to save for bigger prizes.

      Winners will be announced shortly after end of the contest.

      Good luck!
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      sagar19

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      Great contest by the lcb for the month of august..
      I really loved the name of the contest..
      Thanks lipstic..
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      royalflushplease

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      Hi lipstick,
      I just want to be clear, does only the story need to be original or does the story, comic strip & joke  need to be original?

      Regardless, I need to put my thinking cap on.  Great contest.
      Thanks LCB! 
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      Dedi1981

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      personality is rock solid, it's hard to change it!
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      Wow, another great contest from LCB
      I'm curious and can not wait till the posts are storming in!
      Good luck all
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      bingocrazy48

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      Thanks Lips and LCB,sounds like a fun contest!!!
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      Lipstick

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      royalflushplease wrote:

      Hi lipstick,
      I just want to be clear, does only the story need to be original or does the story, comic strip & joke  need to be original?

      Regardless, I need to put my thinking cap on.  Great contest.
      Thanks LCB! 


      Your personal story needs to be original.
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      skrunici

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      Great idea there are many story and I just need to decide which is the best ... I love your contest and see you in few days with great story
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      dirkemans

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      Well i found it quite funny when it happened to me but i hope the LCB jury can see the humour too, so here goes:

      I wanted to buy a decent hat for a long time, as i had been walking around with a Heineken party hat -which are freely distributed at some Dutch festivals- for a few months and as they are not made to last, it was already becoming a bit shabby.

      As i had a bit of extra money, around a 100,- euro's to spend freely, i thought about buying a decent one or maybe go to the local Casino instead and after a bit of tossing and turning i decided to visit the hat store..

      So i came in and asked this nice and distinguished lady for a good hat, similar to the one i was wearing. She said it was a nice hat and it suited me well, and she seemed to mean it, and i replied that i appreciated the compliment, and admittedly also liked the hat, i nevertheless wanted a proper one that would fit me perfectly and was made to withstand certain urban dangers i might be exposed to, such as beer-showers or flying  kamikaze cigarettes in pubs or general bad weather outside, and that i would also like to give my hat to her, as she seemed to like it so much:)

      She laughed, and we tried a few models and pretty soon after  found the perfect specimen, and i gladly paid the lady 60,- euro's, and handed her the Heineken hat to keep, which she immediately put on a top shelf behind the counter to display. We said goodbye and as i walked out of the store, good humoured and very happy with my hat,  i also was cheerful about the fact i still had 40,- euro's left, which was unexpected, so i decided to go to the Casino and got myself  a free espresso there, and was prepared to lose so went for the slots immediately, as you all know in most casinos the payout percentages are quite low compared to Online, especially the slots, and Novomatic ones are quite nasty in their variance so and i busted pretty soon, save for my last 2 euro's.

      As i was playing i had been eyeballing the roulette-machine: i always like to do a few spins on one of my favorite numbers, mostly 17, and as  i was sitting right next to it, and the slot being quite boring and as such put on autoplay, i could easily follow the sequence of numbers on the billboard, and had noticed that my number hadn't hit for ages, so i already  planned to put my last coin on 17, and as i saw the last few credits diminish, i stood up and put my coin, not really thinking much of it, on 17.

      As i saw the ball spinning i got a funny feeling and then i saw the ball falling in the 17 and heard the tune from the bonus round of the exact slot i had been playing, so i looked back and yes, that was my machine and my last few coins there had held on till the bonus round! 

      Then came the less cool part of the story: as i had walked away from the roulette machine,
      where there were now 320 points which mean 300 to cash and 20 to respin:

      2 euro's is good for 10 credits, and as you might know a single number hit is multiplied by 32 so i had 320 credits there, and normally i always do the respin for the back to back shot, and would now normally have done the remaining 20 points, cause i would definitely cash the 300 points (60 euro's) but because i was so surprised about the slot hitting i had forgotten to do it, as soon as i realized i had to respin the roulette, i noticed i was already too late, and this sucked because the 17 DID fall again, which meant i would have won another 128,- euro's...

      Luckily the bonus round on the slot paid quite decent as well, and i won around 50,- euro's there, a bit more but i played on to round it off, cashed the lot and went to the register to change, then cheerfully walked out with 110,- euro's, which was ten more then i had started with and now the hat was free!

      I walked to the coffeeshop to buy a small bag of weed, and was then exactly back at the 100,- and you can guess what i did with that..
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      mnsweetheartf

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      Q. What is the difference between praying in church and praying in a casino?
      A. In a casino, you REALLY mean it.
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      Hi LCBer's,

      Well here's my joke submission.......I hope you think its funny, I did! 

      A group from Chicago spent a weekend gambling in Las Vegas.  One of the men on that trip won $100,000.  He didn't want anyone to know about it, so he decided not to return with the others, but took a later plane home - arriving back 3 a.m. 

      He immediately went out to the backyard of his house, dug a hole and planted the money in it.  The following morning he walked outside and found only an empty hole.  He noticed footsteps leading from the hole to the house next door, which was owned by a deaf-mute.  On the same street lived a professor who understood sign language and was a friend of the deaf man. 

      Grabbing his pistol, the enraged man went to awaken the professor and dragged him to the deaf man's house.  "You tell this guy that if he doesn't give me back my $100,000 I'm going to kill him!" he screamed at the professor.  The professor conveyed the message to his friend, and his friend replied in sign language, "I hid it in my backyard, underneath the cherry tree."

      The professor turned to the man with the gun and said, "He's not going to tell you.  He said he'd rather die first."       
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      Mago666

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      If u bet to the right way u can lose to the most unbelievable way.
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      okey here we go!!!

      my story was fun for me because it happend in the LAPT Medellin when i was playing...
      Was a very dificult day and Im almost out in the first 3 hours of toruney my stack was very short and i really need a miracle to go up!! and the miracle appears almost thre times i got AA pre-flop and of course win the 3 times becoming the chip leader of the table and then a guy watching at me give me a curios toy here is the pic of then then i say hey we can play donkeykong who wants my barrels the all table giv me a laught lol :p very fun for me  
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      chocolateman

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      You want to know the real difference between Black and White? Go to Vegas and get 2 lbs of White Casino Chips and you wouldn't have enough to catch a taxi out of town. But go to Vegas and get 2 lbs of Black Casino Chips and you can go to Tahiti. And if I ever happened to win me 2 lbs of Black Casino Chips that's exactly where I'm going, to Tahiti for a treat.
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      tweeksta

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      ♥ Dont Mind Me.... Im Just Slotting ♥

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      Q: Why isn't gambling allowed in Africa?
      A: Because of all the cheetahs

      Q: What did a blonde from England bring a bag of french fries to a poker game?
      A: Someone told her to bring her own chips.


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      Lipstick

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      Hehehe funny stuff! 
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      bigdk1888

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      This is the funniest story I can think of: This happened to me a few months ago when I was playing sngs in my local(mentioned in poker forum) I held qj off suit and raised it naturally I got a few calls and to my absolute delight I flopped the nuts! 8910 rainbow. I of course decided to check to hide my straight got bet into and the other caller folded I smooth called him the next card brung a possible set for him another J He bet quite big I smooth called again then the river came double pairing the board! and I said all in as I was sure he was strong enough to call in my overexcitement and inexperience playing live I had called out of turn(punishable in vegas/serious tournaments) This guy must have been crazy as even though he knew I was strong he pushed it and bet big again I of course said all in(kind of worried at this point! He called me and shows 2 pairs! I win but it was just so funny that he thought his 2 pairs was good there! anyone else would have folded it and knew I was really strong and the funniest part is he got a warning when I called out of turn in my excitement! What was he thinking!?

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