A comical guide to successful playing slots at a Top Game site

Anything related to casinos, casino games, new casinos, tournaments etc.
Headline back 2
    2,093
    views
    5
    replies
    Last post ago about 6 years by bongo
    Avatar 28689

    gunnylab

      Hero Member
    • offline
    • 86
      thanks given
    • 234
      thanks received
    • Started by
      Hero Member
      657
    • last active about 1 month ago

    Readers of this topic also read:

    Please or register to post or comment.
      • Avatar 28689

        gunnylab

          Hero Member
        • offline
        • 86
          thanks given
        • 234
          thanks received
        • Started by
          Hero Member
          657
        • last active about 1 month ago

        Thanks for this post from:

        • No avatar small
        I hope you all enjoy this satire, I think I got bored tonight.

        1. Before loading the software or signing in take a prozac or any other drug that will keep you in balance while you play.

        2. Take a motion sickness pill that will make you sleepy.  The software plays like you are on a roller coaster for hours  or watching a yo yo go up and down.

        3. Search your house for any pms medicine.  Place the pill on the keyboard.  Attempt to get the software to swallow the pill every 20 minutes.

        4. Now you are ready to make your deposit with your bonus.  Do this after midnight USA eastern time.  The reason for this over half the Top Game sites after midnite dont answer you in the customer chat because the customer service representative has fallen asleep.  The motion sickness pill will put you to sleep within 15 minutes while waiting for the customer service representative to wake up. Do not keep typing "anyone there", it doesnt work.  You will wake up from your nap 4 hours later and now you dont feel like playing, hence you saved money. 

        5. For successful deposits DO NOT stare at your account balance waiting for your bonus to appear.  Kindly ask customer service 5 times "where is my bonus?"  Usually on the fifth time a miracle happens and your bonus magically appears in your account.

        6. Now you are ready to play the slots.  Load 6 different slot games.  The reason for this is  you are to never spin the same game more than 10 times in a row.  If you attempt to spin more than 10 times your money disappears real fast.

        7.  After playing for an hour please remember there is nothing in the terms of service that states you cant give the finger at the monitor or drop a few f bombs.  Even the wonderful writer of the terms of service at the Top Game software company who was on crack when doing the writing realized he should allow both the finger and f bombs because its not costing the casinos any money.
         
        8. Never look at your reconcile report in the middle of playing to check your amount wagered to date.  This pisses the software off and you will pay the price.

        9. Never quit playing and sign out of your account unless you have reached your playthru or are close to it with plenty left in your account.  This really pisses the software off because you have left the poor software alone to deal with customer service.  When you sign into play the next time your account will go straight to zero.

        THE FINAL 2 ARE THE MOST IMPORTANT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

        10. After you set up your withdrawal and send your documents in please realize the finance department only knows how to write and send emails.  THEY DO NOT KNOW HOW TO OPEN AN EMAIL TO READ IT AND THEY HAVENT A CLUE HOW TO REPLY TO ONE !!

        11. When you havent been paid in a month send customer service an email and ask them to print it then give it to the finance department.  The email should state your doctor told you that you are terminally ill and have 6 months to live to please try and pay your online account by day 59 so you can enjoy your money before you die.

        If you follow these 11 steps you will enjoy your experience at any Top Game site.
         
      • No avatar normal

        Imagin.ation

          Mighty! Member
        • female
        • offline
        Use Your Imagination
        Crazical Imaginical
        • 1789
          thanks given
        • 1199
          thanks received
        • Replied by
          Mighty! Member
          4,841
        • last active about 1 month ago
        I feel like cricket food when i'm waiting for customer service, thats all i hear is crickets chirping.. one time while waiting i drove down to taco bell got me 2 tacos and a burrito supreme came home ate, and just about when my large soda was to the end, finally they answered.. by that time i forgot what i wanted.. i said "BRB Restroom"

        Thank you gunny, love the post too real lol
      • Avatar 28689

        gunnylab

          Hero Member
        • offline
        • 86
          thanks given
        • 234
          thanks received
        • Replied by
          Hero Member
          657
        • last active about 1 month ago
        Thank you for the taco bell story, you gave me a good laugh.
      • Avatar 19642

        kazzi

          Hero Member
        • male
        • offline
        Life is tough, too many problems around you all the time.
        • 244
          thanks given
        • 310
          thanks received
        • Replied by
          Hero Member
          932
        • last active 4 months ago
        I dont understand how these casino's can be in buisness still, who wanna wait 5-10weeks on withdrawals they take your money in a second.

        Glad denmark is banned from all there casino's so ive never wasted my money there, if a casino cant pay out in 48hours im not interested at all.
      • No avatar normal

        bongo

        • Super Hero
        • male
        • offline
        • 685
          thanks given
        • 696
          thanks received
        • Replied by
          Super Hero
          1,563
        • last active 6 hrs ago
                Good point Kazzi,  I agree with the timeline.  Gunny, those guidelines are funny and unfortuneately too close to reality.  Thanks  for the advice.

      lcb activities in the last 24 hours

      • 25
        new members
      • 640
        members online
      • 12847
        guests online
      • 160
        new posts
      • 7715
        free games played
      Join the club

      Most viewed forum posts

      Join today and start earning rewards

      You will immediately get full access to our online casino forum/chat plus receive our newsletter with news & exclusive bonuses every month.
      S logo
      Select Language
      Search
      Search Results

      Report to moderator

      Use this function to inform the moderators and administrator of an abusive or wrongly posted message.

      Please note that your email address will be revealed to the moderators if you use this

      Submit
      39012170