This past weekend, there was a horrible event that took place in a small city not far from me. An off duty Sgt Deputy (with the same county that my husband is retired from) went in to a tavern, fatally shot his estranged wife & one of the three girlfriends she was with and then took his own life. He also shot the third friend of his wife's, who is still in critical condition. Needless to say, those who knew the deputy are in shock that one of their own could commit such a heinous act...leaving behind a 13 yr old son and 3 young adult children. We all grieve for the families of the victims while trying to understand why men (and sometimes women) come to a point in a troubled relationship that they feel the only way out is to kill their spouse/partner and then themselves. Sometimes they take their kids with them. This couple had filed for divorce last Summer but in the weeks leading up to the finalization of it, the husband decided he did not want to end their marriage and wanted to reconcile. The wife decided not to...and was happily moving on with her life, away from what her friend's called, a 'controlling relationship'.
I just never understood why a man can get so possessive over a woman that when she decides that the relationship is over, he often conjures up the notion, "If I can't have you, NO ONE will" and then resorts to something so unimaginable....why...why...why? My husband did not know this deputy well but did know his 20 yr old (e) son, who worked as a recruit with him on the river patrol that he does during the Summer months. Great kid....who's life will never be the same. And the 13 yr old son, played football with one of my grandson's....another great kid, who's life has just been destroyed.
I hear these similar stories all across the Country and ALWAYS wonder....why? But this one has hit a little closer to home, and I can't stop thinking about the victims' families...and wonder...how can we prevent these terrible things from happening. Our local County Sheriff says they already have several anti-domestic violence programs for deputies in place but he said all of them will be reviewed to see what they can do better to try to prevent this kind of tragedy in the future. Is that enough?
A "downer" of a conversation
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