A hairy story.

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    Last post ago about 6 years by Lipstick
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    toodleedoo

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        toodleedoo

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        As most of you know I lost my hair to cancer last year.  It is finally to my shoulders, or a little past but I have very curly hair so it looks shorter.  I am thrilled to have any at all. About 6 weeks ago I was getting ready and hubby was in the room with me.  I was fighting with my bangs over and over and feeling discouraged with the whole thing, and I said "I can't wait until my hair is long again".  He replies "Yeah me too".  I let it go, but you all know that I was pissed off.  I wasn't expecting any answer at all, as I was talking to myself, but he should have said 'you look beautiful' or something the likes of it, especially since I lost it all recently.  But he just made me feel worse about myself.  I didn't say anything, but I knew what I was thinking about it.  

        So anyway, my hair is usually kept dark blonde.  He likes blonde hair, I like to be blonde, and though my hair didn't grow out like that and came back darker, I lightened it as soon as I could.  Well, 4 weeks ago I got really tired of the regrowth with the lighter hair.  My hair was not as dark as it is growing now, or at least I am more bothered by it.  So I had it colored light brown with reddish highlights.  I actually really like it, and the best thing is the growth matches pretty well and I have less maintenance.  Loving this situation, let me tell you.  So dh doesn't say much about the change, and then a few days after we were out at lunch and he just says 'I think the brown is cute on you, but I like it blonde better.'

        I just smirked and realized that I didn't really care what he thought about it.  Maybe I'm being too sensitive, because of other issues that we are having, but I think the least I should expect from my spouse at this moment is fake support if genuine is too much to ask.  So a brunette I am now
        Oh, and so far the change has brought only fun and luck, so brunette's definitely do have just as much fun
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        Lipstick

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        Hi Toods,

        You have been a pillar of strength going through and fighting your way back from cancer. I say this not to be kind but to be honest. I have read many of your posts and i think even though it is in the virtual world we can get a pretty good sense of people (most of the time).

        You have never been snippy or appeared to be having a bad day. And you would have every right to if you did! So if you feel a bit sensitive right now about your hair...ya know what? You go right ahead and feel that way. Some may think it is silly but until you walk in the shoes, then and only then do some people really understand.

        Maybe because you have recovered you hubby is replying to a cancer free girl now and is not being quite as sensitive as when you were going through treatment. If that should be the case...........embrace those comments!! Your back to being you!!! And maybe he is back to being him!! I can understand that once you recover from such an ordeal there is still emotional attachments to it. It was a huge part of your life that you will never forget.

        And when it is all said and done it enriches the soul in ways that others never have.

        I agree brunettes have just as much if not better fun.

        Lips
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        Imagin.ation

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        Toodles, you're not being too sensitive, i know us woman do like to keep our husbands happy, probably hurt your feelings, but you know what.. screw it do what makes YOU happy, i bet you look gorgeous with the brunette and reddish hightlights, i think your hubby is jealous ..

        Brunettes do have more fun!
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        blueday

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          Toodleedoo, you're a very brave person to have gone through what you have gone through and also very brave to tell us your story.

          You are the one that has the hair on your head 24/7 not your hubby and it should be about what makes you happiest.  

          Lips and Imagin are right - brunettes do have more fun. 

          blue


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          chillymellow

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          My turn to play bingo!
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          ToodleEdoo, you gorgeous thang, you picked the best hair color around!  If you get anymore of those careless man-comments, maybe you might think of putting some Nair in his hair conditioner!
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          Feelin froggy

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          No way you are being to sensitive. How about this... my ex and I were going out. I'm all ready to go and I made the mistake of asking him how I looked. He was usually brutally honest. So he says to me, change the shirt. You look like a sausage.

          I die laughing now but at the time I certainly thought is was more than harsh. Support is important whether you look like a sausage or not!
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          allgood2010

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          Mine is always super nice and complimentary..the only way I know he doesn't like something is after the fact when he says "I love how that looks, it looks much better than____" or something to that effect.  I think he took a "how women wish men were" class or something because HE'S VERY GOOD lol.  That's why I love him so much though I think.
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          Lipstick

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          Feelin froggy wrote:

          No way you are being to sensitive. How about this... my ex and I were going out. I'm all ready to go and I made the mistake of asking him how I looked. He was usually brutally honest. So he says to me, change the shirt. You look like a sausage.

          I die laughing now but at the time I certainly thought is was more than harsh. Support is important whether you look like a sausage or not!


          I guess thats why he is your ex.......and i hope you said you don't look like a sausage but your gonna find yourself a new sausage!
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          Feelin froggy

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          Oh I got a new sausage alright!
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          wnanhee

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          My dearest,toodle!!!

          You can never be too sensitive when it comes to situations like that...

          You know, sometimes I really think and believe men can be strange and obnoxious to realize how simple it is for them to pause before what they are saying but I also believe that it's just the way it is...they are just different than us...

          It really doesn't matter what hair color or even no hair...to me you are one of the most beautiful person in the world...

          You fought one of the hardest battle and endured so much...not many people can cope with what you had to face it,toodle!
          I am truly proud of you and your strenght...
          Your man is more than blessed to have someone like you stand beside him and I can guarantee you that he already knows it...

          No matter what color your hair is...You are GORGEOUS!!!  :-*

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          CatFace

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          Hair is one of the major highlights in a woman; sometimes it can even be her pillar of confidence. So, having in mind that you first lost your wonderful confidence pillar, and now just reclaimed it, makes it completely natural for you to be sensitive.

          You just go ahead and do what you like with it. You regained your life back, as well as your hair, so you're fully entitled to enjoy it just the way you like it! :*
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          toodleedoo

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          You guys are always amazingly awesome and so so sweet and funny.  Thank you everyone:) 

          Lips, you did make a good point about how we view it all, but this is actually an issue much bigger than my hair right now.  I started marriage counseling last week, turns out cancer taught me life is too short to be unhappy and I'm trying to figure out if I can be happy as things are/have been.  Anyway, marriage, men blech blech blech

          Love you guys
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          allgood2010

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          Toodles I'm glad you like your hair and that's all that matters.  You're right life is way too short but sometimes we forget to not sweat the small stuff and we get all wrapped up in it.  The main thing is that we pull ourselves out of it and do what it takes to get back to loving life instead of dreading it.
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          genenco

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          Well, I can only say that he's a bit of a clod. Frankly I wouldn't care about hair as long as the person I loved was still with me.

          That means way more....
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          Lipstick

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          I wish you all the best tood. Follow your heart and find your happiness. At least you have taken the first step in realizing you didn't feel complete.

          Love ya back

          Lips

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