A Joke

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righton

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I'm as Scottish as Irn bru
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      righton

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      I'm as Scottish as Irn bru
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      Thanks for this post from:

      • 2d4818989f1ca7ccfaccc9b2527a6916
      • Flapjack
      old guy is walking along the street  when a girl comes out from a doorway and whispers to him
      " would you like to come in for some super sex "

      old guy thinks for  a minute and says " yeah i'll just have soup".
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      lottowin

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      Thanks for this post from:

      • Flapjack
      An elderly widow and widower were dating for about five years. The man finally decided to ask her to marry. She immediately said "yes".

      The next morning when he awoke, he couldn't remember what her answer was! "Was she happy? I think so, wait, no, she looked at me funny..."

      After about an hour of trying to remember to no avail, he got on the telephone and gave her a call. Embarrassed, he admitted that he didn't remember her answer to the marriage proposal.

      "Oh", she said, "I'm so glad you called. I remembered saying 'yes' to someone, but I couldn't remember who it was."
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      natlozogav

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      Thanks for this post from:

      • 2d4818989f1ca7ccfaccc9b2527a6916
      • Flapjack
      The blond boyfriend will take you to the movies. Above the entrance to the cinema billboard proclaims the following:
      Two hours of fun! Two hours shudder! Two hours of entertainment! Two hours of real fun!
      By the time the blonde:
      - Are you crazy? Brought me here? Do you really think that I'm sitting for eight hours in the cinema!
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      natlozogav

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      Thanks for this post from:

      • 2d4818989f1ca7ccfaccc9b2527a6916
      Guy walks up to the gym coaches:

      - Which machine should I use to be able to take it to the blonde chick?
      - The ATM at the entrance!
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      natlozogav

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      - Excuse me, can you tell which one is the other side?
      - In contrast there.
      - Well, now I really go crazy from there it sent here!
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      natlozogav

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      The aggressive little pig sitting on a pine tree.

      We go to Fox and asked him: - What are you doing here, little pig?

      - Cherries eat.

      - But it's a pine tree!

      - Shut up! I brought with me! 
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      Cat50

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      Teacher: "Kids,what does the chicken give you?"
      Student: "Meat!"
      Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
      Student: "Bacon!"
      Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
      Student: "Homework!"
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      Cat50

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       spin time

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      Thanks for this post from:

      • 2d4818989f1ca7ccfaccc9b2527a6916
      • Flapjack
      A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. "Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents." Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?" "Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it, and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!' I'm like, hello? It's only 25 cents!"
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      natlozogav

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      The blonde woman reads the heat of a quarrel friend:
      - You sure you vacuum your mind!
      She thinks a bit, then sarcastically replies:
      - Ha, it's still better than nothing would be it!
    • 2d4818989f1ca7ccfaccc9b2527a6916

      Johnny Karp

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      "Just play. Have fun. Enjoy the game." -- Michael Jordan

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      natlozogav wrote:

      The blonde woman reads the heat of a quarrel friend:
      - You sure you vacuum your mind!
      She thinks a bit, then sarcastically replies:
      - Ha, it's still better than nothing would be it!


      Is this by any chance translated with Google Translate or something? Because it doesn't seem to make sense.
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      natlozogav

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      Johnny Karp wrote:

      natlozogav wrote:

      The blonde woman reads the heat of a quarrel friend:
      - You sure you vacuum your mind!
      She thinks a bit, then sarcastically replies:
      - Ha, it's still better than nothing would be it!


      Is this by any chance translated with Google Translate or something? Because it doesn't seem to make sense.


      Yes, it was google translator, sorry, that makes no sense. Sorry everyone, I ask the admin to delete the post.
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      natlozogav

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      When is the longer way always better than the shorter one?

      When you're a taxi driver.
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      natlozogav

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      Oh my god! Never have I seen such an error message ... Someone has seen? 



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      natlozogav

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      A policeman sees a little girl riding her bike and says, “Did Santa get you that?" “Yes,” replies the little girl. “Well," says the policeman, "tell Santa to put a reflector light on it next year,” and fines her five dollars. The little girl looks up at the policeman and says, "Nice horse you’ve got there, did Santa bring you that?” The policeman chuckles and replies, “He sure did!" “Well,” says the little girl, “next year, tell Santa the d*ck goes under the horse and not on it."
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      BETAT

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      Only slightly saucy, but I rather iked this Xmas joke

      Three men coincidentally met their maker on Christmas Eve, by happenstance, dying in their loved ones' arms (it was a nice way to go)..
      They all found themselves at the Pearly Gates waiting to enter heaven. On entering they were instructed to present something relating to Christmas. The first patted down the shirt he was still wearing in bed and found some mistletoe he had pinned to his lapel so he was allowed in.

      The second man patted down the pants he was wearing and found a sprig of holly, so he was also allowed in.

      The third man was buck naked but recalled he still had something clutched in hand and opened his fist to present a pair of crumpled-up panties.

      .St Peter looked at him quizically and asked, ‘Er, how exactly do these represent Christmas?’

      The man answered ‘They’re Carol’s.’

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