Arranged Marriage, the right thing?

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    wnanhee

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        wnanhee

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        I was reading  one of article about a13 year old girl who was reported by her parents that she ran away with or was abducted by a man who she met on Facebook. The police later found out that it was all lies and actually she ran from an arranged marriage to Pakistani man by her step father...
        One of the family's friends hid her for a while but it didn't last long so girl is still missing.
        I too am from a country where arranged marriages were common.
        More than half of my family's marriages were arranged,
        However, their ages were closer together, not a 13 girl and a much older man.
        I personally do not believe in arranged marriages; they are an out dated belief.

        What do you think, about arranged marriages?
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        gabby

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        Arranged marriages.?  Not for them in any way shape or form.

        Never....under any circumstances.
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        dtsweet

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        It's easy to judge another's culture from a Western standpoint where we place more stock in an individual's freedom of choice than a community's or family's.
        I grew up here (in the west), so, yes, I'd have to say I don't agree on arranged marriages and that I'm 'enlightened'; but I don't live in those regions, nor grew up in one, so I can't judge their ways too greatly; I'm sure I'd hav a completely different mindset were I have to have grown up in a different environment
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        Joseph Kennedy

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        I could go on and and say that they are not okay, that people should marry out of love.

        With that said, that brings me to wealthy families--particularly those high in the social order--Presidents, Bishops (prominent persons in the business world)  Marrying the "wrong" person may be detrimental to the business or standing of the prominent person.

        I hate to say it, but if you are rich (or have a prominent position in the community/region) your marriage choices could be arranged (to protect the wealth of both families or strengthen the reputation of the prominent persons.)

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        wmmeden

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        How many marriages "for love" have fallen apart?  Marriage for status or money or alliances makes as much sense-to me, at least.  Just my opinion.
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        wnanhee

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        Wow...you guys are just so amazingly great for bring up all the facts and different point of views.

        One of the reasons why my previous culture enforces arranged marriage is that they believe the marriage is not all about two people but the promises and bonding between both families...
        I was a disappointment to my family for marrying a different race man at first for the similar reason...

        I think Pacer brought up a good point of some so called higher standard families going for it in the name of gaining benefits and more success they believe...
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        lua

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        Even if marriage is not out of love but for status or money alliances I think that the ones marrying are the ones that have to decide who they want the marry no matter what  their reasons are.
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        it must be terrible to marry somebody without love
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        Joseph Kennedy

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        There's a quote on the street.....People can make money the *old fashioned way*---by marrying it.

        (Ask U.S Senators John McCain and John Kerry)
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        Johnny Karp

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        Actually arranged marriages tend to last longer than the marriages out of love, that's a fact. But if we look at it from a human rights point of view that I guess it's wrong to make such decisions on behalf of a child.
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        gabby

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        Johnny Karp wrote:

        Actually arranged marriages tend to last longer than the marriages out of love, that's a fact. But if we look at it from a human rights point of view that I guess it's wrong to make such decisions on behalf of a child.


        It would be my guess that it is harder to get out an arranged marriage.  I don't even know if it's allowed.

        What a broad spectrum of cultures.... arranged marriages based on status, religion, families, etc. and us... who can stop by a chapel in Vegas while drunk having met the person an hour earlier.
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        Joseph Kennedy

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        Great topic Nan.  Arranged marriages I would think are designed to be beneficial to not only each family involved, but the two spouses.  (Like having a built-in family planner so "emotions don't supercede logic"). 

        Arranged marriages are also the setting for some great fiction: Wuthering Heights, Romeo and Juliet.
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        wnanhee

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        In some countries, where arraigned marriages are commonplace, a woman cannot divorce her husband due to the fact that it is not allowed mainly by religious reasons; it is not allowed because the woman will be put to death like stoned or because the marriage was to the benefit of both families joining together (for numerous reasons) and the woman's family will either disown her or kill her themselves-(my precious old culture)...
        In some countries, if a woman is raped, it is the duty of the father or older brother to kill her so the family will not be dishonored and as I previously posted how women in my family hand down dodgers for that reason to take own life.
        As Dtsweet put it, we cannot fully understand their reasons because most of us grew up with Western ways and what we see and read are not all there is to it.
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        gabby

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        Pacer wrote:

        Great topic Nan.  Arranged marriages I would think are designed to be beneficial to not only each family involved, but the two spouses.  (Like having a built-in family planner so "emotions don't supercede logic"). 

        Arranged marriages are also the setting for some great fiction: Wuthering Heights, Romeo and Juliet.


        Whaddya mean Romeo and Juliet is Fiction?!?!?



        ;)
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        Joseph Kennedy

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        ...the fictionalized Romeo and Juliet account by Shakespere, Gabby

        In some countries, where arraigned marriages are commonplace, a woman cannot divorce her husband due to the fact that it is not allowed mainly by religious reasons; it is not allowed because the woman will be put to death like stoned or because the marriage was to the benefit of both families joining together (for numerous reasons) and the woman's family will either disown her or kill her themselves-(my precious old culture)...-Nan

        Looking at this I could see why a woman would despise an arranged marriage.

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