Discipline

How do you discipline your kids?

I use time out, and I NEVER spank. I was brought with getting spanked with the belt, and I made a promise that I would never do that to my kids. I have to admit that I am guilty of raising my voice though. I try to control it, but sometimes I get soooo mad that I could just scream.


I also take privleges away, early bedtimes, no TV, or they have to take an hour nap.


Do you believe in spanking?

What discipline works the best for you?


:-*

I was very lucky.. my daughter did what i said.. if it was no, she simply obeyed.. as she got older whatever rules i had she followed no matter what it was.. i set the example, and she followed my lead.. but you also have to be very careful with this.. children pay more attention to the parents then you think.. the thing with this is she was an only child so it was easy, it is others that have the influence, so i think if i would of had more children i would probably had to have another type of discipline.

The worse i ever got in losing my temper would be getting loud and yelling some kind of profanity. I wouldn't spank, probably use the time out or take away priviledge..

I have a 3 year old and 4 year old, and different things for for each.  My 4 year old son is very bright, has always been so spanking (like smacking the hand etc.) did more harm than good I found with him.  For him now, it's timeouts and taking away something he likes.  That really does the trick.  I usually just have to threaten him with 'do you want a timeout....want me to take your xxx away until tomorrow' and it works like a charm because he really 'gets' the threat.  The few times I have to followup with them, he gets very upset but i still will do the timeout/toy takeaway etc. even if it kills me.

My daughter who is 3, well she is a different gal lol.  You could probably take everything away from her and she won't give a hoot nor will she connect that it's being taken away because of her behavior.  She understands timeouts and it doesn't have to be in a room, i can sit her on the couch and say 'you're in a 1 minute timeout' and she will flip out because she is in trouble.  Just being in trouble is bad for her.  Whatever I do, I try to talk to them so they know.  Chance knows already, he's so aware, but Sinclaire you have to sit down and really get eye level and make her look at you so she understands why she is in trouble.  She's very happy go lucky, everything is fun, and we are possibly guilty of being lighter on her because she is a girl and the baby but we're trying to change that.

A former psychologist can get ALL over this one! 

I don't spank my kids, but I am not totally against it.  Obviously, spanking has gotten a bad reputation.  Also, there are good studies out which reveal spanking may not be a good idea.  However, and some of you are not going to like this, there are also good studies that state spanking (if done within specific boundaries) may be an effective way of disciplining a small child.  You'll never hear about these studies on The Today Show or Oprah.

Time-outs have pluses and lots of minuses.  When I used to do family therapy I would often see kids who were utter and complete brats who were disciplined by....you guessed it....time-outs.

***The number ONE best way to discipline your child is to NOT give in to what they want.  If you as a parent are always buying your kids crap, reliving your resolved childhood through them, never saying no, or trying to be their "friend," then you are running a high risk of having a brat and problem adult later on.

As much as I don't believe in spanking, I must admit that if my child ever crossed the lines, spanking isn't good enough. my son is too young to understand this but my daughter sure knows it and so far we both have been blessed.
All of her friends think I am a saint and envy her but if you ask my daughter, she will tell you this..."oh,you don't know my mother well...she can be the nicest mother on earth but she can make you pee in your pants just with her evil eyes if you cross her..."
CURFEW......absolutely be followed!!! Discipline......Is must needed if necessary!!!

Well, I came from an time I LOATHED the "Mattel" toy company. They made a toy which had (what they called) "Hot Tracks" and brother, having one of them across your behind did hurt.

I agree there's pros and cons to spanking. I think I'd try eveything else unless the situation called for it. It's really strange how a kid punished or not will grow up.

I recall one of the richest Oregonians (He owned  Weyerhaeuser ) and this guy had the bucks BIGTIME. He also had 2 sons. One was working dilligently for the company, the other one was a bank robber.

They both had college educations, but somewhere along the way, one went bad, the other good....Strange.

Yeah geneco it is strange how that happens. Kids from the same up bringing will go different ways sometimes. It makes me wonder what my kids are going to be when they grow up..I really hope they all do the right thing in life.


:-*

Most social psychologist say we are about to see an adult generation of narcissists.  Though some in that generation will be highly service oriented, most will not and be super self absorbed people.  We have those in every generation, right?  Yes, we do.  But, this will (likely) be an above average group in that area.

I remember when I was a child, when my dad was alive.

He used to call it Lickings..I would have to go get the belt myself. It was big and red and leather

It had these holes in it..I will never forget the walk back from getting it.

I would be petrified. However, I was a BIG help to my 6 brothers and sisters since I was the oldest, and I usually didn't get the "lickings."

When I moved in with my grandmother, she would do more threatening than spanking, and when she got real mad, usually over silly things, she would come after me, and I couldn't help but laugh. Looking back, it probably wasn't my smartest move.


:-*

Though me and my sisters and brothers never got it.. my mom used to chase us with the dreaded hanger.. we'd get on the top bunk all the way against the wall she couldn't reach us, i can still hear her.. umph, umph.. trying to reach up there.. i know she was missing us on purpose now.. but then we didn't lol.. with my father.. all he had to do was put his hand on the buckle of his belt like he was gonna undo it while he was wearing it and look at us.. oh we shut up immediately.. mainly it was just a quick loud YAAAWWLLLL from my father when we got unruly.. it worked.. i don't remember not one single spanking... but i remember the chases loool

Mommy:  Those who advocate spanking children would NOT suggest doing it the way you experienced as a child.

I agree, to this day it is why I don't spank my kids.


:-*

I grew up in TX from 5 years to 15, and in the third grade a group of us girls got into trouble and ended up getting spanked with a den paddle with holes in it from the principle.  Lucky me, I was wearing a dress on that day that when I bent over gave them access directly to my bare behind.  It was torture, I still remember the pain and the humiliation.  I was crying in the bathroom for the rest of the day.  I *think* that isn't allowed in schools anymore, and it sure as heck better not be when my kids go.