Guys Hitting Women........is there exceptions?

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    Last post ago over 7 years by phibbie
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      • Putting on lipstick emoticon 1
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          admin
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        Hi Guys and Dolls,

        Hitting a women is something that should never be allowed. Men are physically stronger and can pretty much knock out a woman with a single blow.

        Having said that......here is the twist. What if a woman hits her man repeatedly? I know someone who when angry.....gets very physical with her man. She has never been struck back by any guy she ever dated.

        Is there a time when a man should hit back? Hitting is a two way street.....hit me and i will hit you back.  If it becomes routine to hit your husband/boyfriend.......should he stand up and teach her a lesson to not hit again?

        Lips
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          Super Hero
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        Lips......from my days as a family therapist I want to say there are MANY occurances of women hitting men....very violently.  That does NOT make hitting women more okay.  But, women often become violent.  I could tell utter horror stories.  But, here is the double standard:  Husband can be having the sh..t beat out of him by his wife and if he fights back....hmmmm...guess who the police drag off???

        Bottom line:  Men or women.  If you S.O. is violent.  LEAVE!  Go!  Do not stay with a violent person.
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        yeah, the double standard sucks. But i don't think the hitting of either partner is ever acceptable.
        if your female partner pops you, use whatever minimum phsical action is necessary to remove yourself from the picture, ie if you have to push her away at max, then leave your unhealthy relationship. seriously noone deserves to be hit
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        Couldn't agree more, hitting is never appropriate, no matter who is doing it.  Best thing to do it leave. 
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        You touched a nerve here Lips with your post.

        I was in a violent marriage - he used to beat me up, strangle me, bite me, thump the top of my head with his fist and so on.  It was the most traumatic time of my life and it was the hardest thing to leave because of the "I promise I won't do it again - Im really sorry" bull****. 

        I did leave after 4 and a half years and it was the best move I ever made and I should have done it sooner but I was young and naive. 

        Nobody, man or woman, should suffer at the hands of their partner and if a man ever laid a finger on me again, it would be over immediately regardless of my feelings, his feelings or any other circumstances.

        In my opinion, it is totally unacceptable regardless of who is doing it to whom.

        blue

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        So sorry for your headache and hardship blue.
        I believe the best thing for anyone who has those problems (anger management problems with abuse, addictions) is to leave! Support and encourage them to go to counselling yes but never enable their problem. You always have the choice to 'go back' when the person is 'whole'
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        Glad you had to courage to leave Blue. 
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        13oclock wrote:

        So sorry for your headache and hardship blue.
        I believe the best thing for anyone who has those problems (anger management problems with abuse, addictions) is to leave! Support and encourage them to go to counselling yes but never enable their problem. You always have the choice to 'go back' when the person is 'whole'
        [/quote]

        He will never be whole.  He held a knife to the throat of his second wife who also left him.  

        Thanks for your kind words 13oclock.

        [quote author=mistye81 link=topic=7149.msg50227#msg50227 date=1258067118]
        Glad you had to courage to leave Blue. 


        Thanks mistye81.  It was really hard - easy to say but way way different to do. 

        blue
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        blueday wrote:

        You touched a nerve here Lips with your post.

        I was in a violent marriage - he used to beat me up, strangle me, bite me, thump the top of my head with his fist and so on.  It was the most traumatic time of my life and it was the hardest thing to leave because of the "I promise I won't do it again - Im really sorry" bull****. 

        I did leave after 4 and a half years and it was the best move I ever made and I should have done it sooner but I was young and naive. 

        Nobody, man or woman, should suffer at the hands of their partner and if a man ever laid a finger on me again, it would be over immediately regardless of my feelings, his feelings or any other circumstances.

        In my opinion, it is totally unacceptable regardless of who is doing it to whom.

        blue




        U seem like a strong woman, & I admire your courage.
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          Mighty! Member
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        I'm sure there is "Exceptions" but if anyone starts to see their spouse even start to act a tad violent, they should leave or get them to seek mental health therapy.

        I don't really (Maybe blue could say)think that the person hasn't outgrown being a child when angry. Now, when I get angry at anyone, I just either walk away, or ask them to repeat what they said, it's not always what they say, but how.
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        Thanks Tinmanfan.  You're very kind.

        Genenco - there was no "anger" - it was just pure violence.  There was no hint whatsoever each time it happened and I'm sure there is no way he would have ever admitted he had a problem or that he needed an anger management course. 

        In fact I would say that a person suffering at the hands of their partner is not likely to suggest an anger management course because of fear of another attack.  I certainly would never have said anything like that to him.

        blue

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        Blue.....glad you left.  I can tell you are WAY too good a woman to stay with that fellow.  (Well...even if you WEREN'T good, no one should abuse another!)
      • Putting on lipstick emoticon 1
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        13oclock wrote:

        yeah, the double standard sucks. But i don't think the hitting of either partner is ever acceptable.
        if your female partner pops you, use whatever minimum phsical action is necessary to remove yourself from the picture, ie if you have to push her away at max, then leave your unhealthy relationship. seriously noone deserves to be hit
        I agree 13.....its not fair for a woman to hit a man either. I think you said it well.... if she is getting violent leave the unhealthy relationship.

        I just don't see the satisfaction in it. Some of the same tempers that flare also abuse our pets. It's senseless and cruel.

        Thanks for your thoughts!!!

        Lips
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        Blue, you just a hero!!! To live in horror and fear for 4 and half years... It's really the best decision of your life!
        Agree there's no differences between two sexes! Men can suffer from cruelty not less than women do! I've even read that women are the most violent beings! then children and only then men...
        I always think about it...what all this can end up with!?!? injuries...disability...death...
        Actually my mum has had the same drama! I was little but I still remember those scenes!  :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( So now it's one of my strongest fears! If I see only a little hint of violence from my boyfriend even if it's not in my direction, I leave this person! It's unacceptable for me!
        You know psychologists say that the majority of girls choose subconsciously their husbands, men who are like their fathers...I'll die if it happens to me!
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        drpsyce38 wrote:

        Blue.....glad you left.  I can tell you are WAY too good a woman to stay with that fellow.  (Well...even if you WEREN'T good, no one should abuse another!)
        [/quote]

        Thanks drpsyce.  I was good - I am good lol.  He always acted like the spoilt child. 

        I truly never deserved it.

        [quote author=phibbie link=topic=7149.msg50303#msg50303 date=1258093408]
        Blue, you just a hero!!! To live in horror and fear for 4 and half years... It's really the best decision of your life!
        Agree there's no differences between two sexes! Men can suffer from cruelty not less than women do! I've even read that women are the most violent beings! then children and only then men...
        I always think about it...what all this can end up with!?!? injuries...disability...death...
        Actually my mum has had the same drama! I was little but I still remember those scenes!  :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( So now it's one of my strongest fears! If I see only a little hint of violence from my boyfriend even if it's not in my direction, I leave this person! It's unacceptable for me!
        You know psychologists say that the majority of girls choose subconsciously their husbands, men who are like their fathers...I'll die if it happens to me!


        Thanks phibbie.  You're very kind.

        Sorry to hear that your mum suffered at the hands of your father.  Its hard to think about those times for you I'm sure.

        I couldn't say whether he was like my father as my father died when I was 2 so I never knew him at all.

        Sadly - it is easy to say "leave" but the truth is (and I don't really understand it myself) you put up with it.

        I guess each person has their "line" and once that line is crossed - thats when you take actrion and leave.

        I hope it never happens to you too phibbie.

        blue

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