Hilarious News Stories

I just read a funny story about a guy on Virgin Trains who'd "been to the loo" but there was no toilet paper.  He tweeted Virgin Trains (still sitting on the loo) saying there was no loo roll on the 19.30 from Euston to Glasgow. 

Virgin Trains responded asking which cubicle he was in.  He had to get off the loo and check the cubicle number on the outside of the door.  He tweeted back saying it was "J".  Not too long afterwards, a man in a suit was hanging around outside, loo roll in hand.

This story was on Metro news site and you can read the full story with the full tweets here.

Isn't technology wonderful!

Share any funny news items you find here.

OMG, that's too funny!! 

This is a great subject for a thread!!!

Oh wow!!! lmao, thanks for the laugh, I sure needed that today.  HAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Remember guys: Twitter can save your life!  Lmao.   

AK Verma, an executive engineer at India's Central Public Works Department, last turned up for work in December 1990.

So when did they fire him, I hear you say? Well, it was after 24 years! I want to move to India and get his job, I'd be relaxed until 2039!

Full story HERE.

LOL Great story.  I wondered if they paid him but it didn't say anything about that.

I assume they did pay him, otherwise he would have quit the job

Oh that is crazy, and it reminds me of the employees in our public administration - if one is in a currently ruling party.

"In Dog we Trust" - well that was the message on a rug at Pinellas County Sherriffs office.  Apparently the typo was only spotted after 2 months and is now in the process of being rectified.

You can read all about it here and see a picture of the rug.

LOL That's funny indeed, but I wouldn't change a thing.

Check out the picture:



A man and a postbox, strange? Well, the man called Paul Bennett got a bit drunk and tried to have sex with the postbox! He was seen shouting 'Wow' as he rubbed against the postbox with his trousers down

Full story here.

 

OMG He must have been really drunk to find the postbox attractive. He needs to stamp out that behaviour

LOL, that cheered me up! I just hope he had a good time with the postbox.

Some folks in France wanted to name their baby daughter Nutella A judge stepped in and forbid them to do that, changing the poor baby's name to Ella. Full story here.

LOL it's funny, but it shows that not all parents are suitable for that roll.

In Serbia fruity names are quite acceptable though they sound a bit archaic nowadays. (Jagoda - Strawberry or Visnja - Cherry).

Thanks heavens the Judge stepped in! What a terrible time of it that child would have had.

Ok, on one hand, what the juck one the other hand, that's their baby they can do whatever they like :D:D I remember when in China parents named their third son, they only can have 2 in a family, "Fined 98 dollars" or something like that

Not sure the baby would agree though

Ground hog bites Mayor's ear.  Poor Jimmy the groundhog probably just wanted to go back and rest  . You can read about it here.

http://www.nbcnews.com/news/weird-news/jimmy-groundhog-bites-sun-prairie-wisconsin-mayors-ear-n298656

The groundhog was a bit up close and personal.  His ear must have looked like a tasty morsel.

Well done Jimmy!!!

:D Poor thing, just wanted something to eat.

Errr....   Check out this funny (well not for him) story - see the pic attached.

I don't understand completely how that happened but I'm not sure I want to go into details and over-think it.

I have to admit that I was thinking the same when I found the story and like you, didn't want to go into details, not even in my mind.

What an embarrassing situation.

Oh man, this is really funny!

Not for that man though, having your nuts stuck in a deckchair!

When I read "Giant owl attacks Dutch residents" I though it was a joke. But even BBC reported that residents in a Dutch town have been warned to arm themselves with an umbrella when going out at night.

"During the day there's no problem, but at night we now only venture outside armed with umbrellas, helmets and hats, anything really, to protect ourselves," said Liselotte de Bruijn.

Two runners were injured on Tuesday, with one requiring stitches for five separate head wounds. Residents and workers at a home for the disabled have been attacked at least 15 attacks by the bird.

The bird is quite big - The European eagle owl is one of the world's largest owl species with a wing-span of up to 1.8m (6ft) and weight up to 3kg (7lbs).

Poor sods!  Those owls are huge.  Must look funny though when the residents go out at night, it's not raining and they're sporting a tin helmet and a brollly.

:D It could be a new horror movie... or a parody.

But why don't they catch that owl and move it somewhere safe, like in a forest or something? Are they afraid it might come back with vengeance in its mind?

Yes, I think owl needs to get bored and leave on its own terms. But I couldn't find why anything particle hasn't been done.

Unbelievable picture of a weasel riding on the back of a dpecker in flight.  Funny but so true!

Check out the story at the BBC News

It is a great photo, almost impossible to capture something like this.

Great picture indeed. They were really lucky that everything was happening right in front of them.

Some fine delicate dry crackers and a den board with flavoursome cheeses is what you expect when you order biscuits with cheese after a lovely meal.

Check this out HERE

LOL  I saw it a few days ago, and the picture really made me laugh. I'm just imagining the confusion in the kitchen when she placed her order.

Not such an April fool - check out the story HERE.

Definitely looked too good to be true, I wouldn't have taken it seriously. Well done to her, took the chance and got the reward!

Oh wow, she is a lucky lady. I highly doubt that I would take the ad seriously.

Remember "Dave" and his suit jacket and high heels (advert above).  Guys planning a "stag do" decided their "dress code" by the advert that popped up on TV.  Check out the video and news story HERE

Christmas story,

A young man wanted to buy his girlfriend a gift for Christmas but he didn't knew what to buy because a little time passed since they were together .After thinking carefully, he chose to take a pair of gloves as the best gift.:romantic but not too personal.Accompanied by the younger sister of his girlfriend he  went to the store and he bought a pair of white gloves.The sister bought a pair of slips.While making the pack the seller has messed the packages so the young sister got the gloves and he took the panties.Without checking the contents, he sent  to his beloved girlfriend the package with the following message:"I chose this gift because while we were walking in the park ,I noticed  you are not accustomed to wear something like that.If your sister wasn't here to advice me I would chose the longer model with buttons but she wears the short model,in this way  you can undress much easier.Even if the color is more pastel,they are not getting dirty easily.The seller showed me that she wears the same color and even after wearing them for three weeks they still looks good.I put her to try the pair that I bought for you,she looks great with them.I want to be near you to help you for the first time with their dressing ;I'm jealous that other men will touch their delicate silk before seeing you again.After you undress them remember to blow inside a little because otherwise  while wearing them,moisture will remain there..Ah, how many times I will kiss them in the coming year!.I hope that Wednesday night, on Christmas Eve,when we meet again you will wear them only for me.
With all my love!
PS:I heard the latest fashion is not to pull them right up on top so that you can see the fur a little.

A parrot was "arrested" in INdia for hurling abuse at a relative of the parrot's owner.  Check out this crazy story at Metro news.

[...]officers saw fit to arrest him [the parrot!] and pass him over to the Forest Department for rehabilitation.

Now that's the most funny bit, I can imagine dozens of people gathering around the poor parrot trying to persuade him not to use such words again

LOL I had the same vision Johnny. 

I gotta tell you it reminded me of my silly older brother.  I taught my budgie to say him and his wife's name ready for when they came across the water to visit.  When he arrived, true to form, my sweet little budgie kept saying their names and my brother was very impressed.  Their holiday came and went and some 3 months later on the telephone to my bro, he says to me "does the budgie every mention me...."  Well first off, the question made me laugh.  I told him I'd told the budgie not to say his name any more and just his wife's name.  He said "well you rotten cow"....I couldn't believe that he believed me.  I laughed a long time over that one and it still makes me laugh now.  I did of course tell him that I was joking and that it was hard to stop a budgie saying words that he had learned.  I imagine this parrot will be swearing and cussing for many years to come. 

LOL oh my... Blue and Johnny, you both made me laugh, more than the story itself. It seems that having a parrot is a tricky business.

          That is funny,  by the way,  Blue, what's a Budgie?    How exactly do you "rehabilitate"  a bird and
what's the consequence if he doesn't,  the rotisserie?    --Just kidding guys, I could never do that.  I know it's  kind of low brow but I think a potty mouth parrot is rather funny.  Especially in awkward situations.

A budgie (nickname) for a budgerigar

15ft x 10ft sign on a motorway - wife dumps husband!   

Check out the story here