Housewife Refuses to Work!

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    Last post ago over 6 years by Lipstick
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    Lipstick

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        Lipstick

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        Kayla* has 11 brothers and sisters, and she grew up in a house with a stay-at-home mom. When she started dating Malik* and told him she wanted to be a housewife, he thought it sounded like a great idea—home-cooked meals, no worries about babysitting expenses or strange babysitters, and his wife would be home to greet him.

        After having a baby and the bills started to come in Malik decided that she had to work. Kayla was upset that he broke his promise and now the two of them are separated.

        Who do you think is right here Kayla who told me him from the start that she never wanted to work and he agreed. Or Malik who saw the bills pouring in with a lot more pressure decided he needed her income to pave the way for a better life?

        Lips
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        rokko

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        She sounds like a perfect micro credit candidate (that we support at here) to me.
        She decided on the relationship basics, the boy agreed and of they went. Life doesn´t always work out according to plans and now they have to adapt.

        Since she is the decision taker and by experience you better bet on the girls (kiva etc.) I would bet my money her.
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        Imagin.ation

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        Use Your Imagination
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        For the love of her husband that needs her, and for her family, she should and could get a part-time job helping for a time being, though he did make this promise and he has asked for her help, she is being selfish to hold this in a marriage, a marriage isn't all about promises a husband makes, it about two people becoming one in matrimony, therefore you have made promises to each other which in a sense she is not withholding...
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        bradwill

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        Sounds like they were both a little naive from the get-go. They probably didn't think things through very well to begin with, not to mention the consideration that circumstances and situations change and must be adapted to. What may have been possible yesterday or today may not be tomorrow. She sounds a little like a girl I worked with not too long ago who's only long term ambition was to have about 12 kids and be a stay at home mom. Shes' a mormon and this sort of thing is not too unheard of in that context. In fact, her parents did just that, but that was a generation ago under different economic circumstances. Plus she's off to a rocky start w/2 divorces under her belt in her early twenties w/no kids yet to show for it. And she's very driven and ambitious in the work that she does; very good at sales/working with people. Can't see her sitting around the house all day raising kids.

        Anyway, the girl in your story, if she wants to maintain the lifestyle she's embarked on (family, kids, etc.), is probably just gonna have to buckle down and work; at least for a while. Seems a little selfish putting that entire burden on the husband these days w/no effort to even attempt some compromise.
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        max1mike

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        she needs to pull her head out of her ass and do what is needed for her family.

        if I were him, i'd make sure the kids and i were fed and she could fend for herself....selfish, childish, immature b!tch.
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        nalgenie

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        please watch your mouth..

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        max1mike

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        nalgenie wrote:

        please watch your mouth..


        i did.
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        wnanhee

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        I agree with what everyone said.
        A marriage is all about compromise...what if he gets sick and can't work any more...what will she do then? ...I wonder!
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        Lipstick

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        I think gone are the days where the wife stays home and keeps the house and raises the children. It would be nice to live in that world. Because taking care of a house and a family is a full time job in itself.

        Unfortunately in today's society not even both partners working can make ends meet. I think she does need to chip in. The fairytale romance of lovers with the perfect scenario of happiness as the ride off into the sunset gets a wake up call.

        She needs to stand by her man and do what it takes to put food on the table and for a better future ahead of them.

        Lips
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        genenco

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        OK I had to read that twice to get it all.

        Well, it sounds like the "Bills" that were run up, should have been NOT run up and the pleasures they bring (And less income) could have been left to wait.

        When (I was working in the parts warehouse for a major TV maker, we had parts requests waiting for 2 YEARS for a single part for a TV and many were from South America.

        Showed me that they would patiently wait for the repairs and not just go out and buy something to replace the one they wanted repaired.

        So, it really can depend upon how those bills came about and how willing were they to tighten their belts.
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        toodleedoo

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        I am 31, i was laid off last Feb along with 1100 other people and 2 months later diagnosed with Inflammatory Breast Cancer.  I had a then 3 year old and 2 year old, and had been working full-time by choice.  All of a sudden I was home all the time, and coulnd't go back to work because of the illness.  What a mess.  Now that my health has improved over the last couple of months, and my hard treatment is done, I'm home with the kids mostly by choice.  They are 3 and 4.  But staying home and being a 'housewife' is NOT easy for some of us.  It isn't the prefferred option.  Even being home, I'm taking online classes through a community college - and I have a degree.  For me, I have to feel like I am meeting goals, whether it's helping out my family financially, or 'working on' helping out my family in the future.  As for the above couple, she could have worked temporarily until things were easier.  I think it depends on what her career choice would have been, with the price of daycare these days, it may be cheaper to stay home.  And it depends on their culture, her demands may have been very reasonable and expected according to their religion etc.  I would have hoped they would work through it though, and not let material things break up a family. 
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        Lipstick

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        Hi toodle,

        So glad to hear your health has improved. Staying at home and raising family is a full time job. I don't think it should ever be taken lightly. But i agree with you if times get tough and it is going to help out the family then working may be the only option.

        Lips

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