How do you say "I'm Sorry" ?

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    Last post ago over 6 years by Lipstick
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    Imagin.ation

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        Imagin.ation

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        When you have hurt someone, said something you never meant to say, infact what you said was the exact opposite of the truth, but were in a moment of great hurt, and pain, just not yourself.. and slashed out mean words..how do you say i'm sorry and take away the pain you have caused, and be forgiven?

        And what do you do when you have said you are, done everything you can to make them see, but the person you care so much for won't forgive you, the damage you caused just keeps haunting them..

        Is "i'm sorry" ever enough to make them see you didn't mean it, do you feel an apology from someone is enough or do you feel they should burn in hell for hurting you so badly?

        What does it really take for a person to understand they didn't mean it, they love you and would take back what they said, and rather die then to hurt you?

        What are you thoughts on someone who does not forgive?
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        MommyMachine

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        Lord knows I have said things to someone out of anger and hurt. I really wish I didn't say the things I did. I really feel like if that person you hurt knows you, then they know you meant no harm..You were just angry. Maybe some people just can't forgive.

        I feel like without forgiveness, I would have a heavy heart. I wouldn't be able to move on from certain things, and I couldn't enjoy my life. I have always forgiven anyone who has hurt me, even the person that took my father away. I don't forget though.

        Forgiveness is a powerful thing, not just for the person you are forgiving, but for your soul as well.

        Just my 3 cents.



        :-*
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        Imagin.ation

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        MommyMachine wrote:


        I feel like without forgiveness, I would have a heavy heart. I wouldn't be able to move on from certain things, and I couldn't enjoy my life. I have always forgiven anyone who has hurt me, even the person that took my father away. I don't forget though.

        Forgiveness is a powerful thing, not just for the person you are forgiving, but for your soul as well.

        Just my 3 cents.



        :-*


        Those are perfect words.. a "heavy heart" you'll have without forgiveness..

        I sometimes think if you don't forgive, that you'll end up in the same shoes as the unforgiven.. that feeling

        The sincerity in a person is very valuable, it is worth more then the act of what the person did in the beginning.
        Sometimes it seems people don't care for that anymore..
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        toodleedoo

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        I always just apologize.  Straight out, no drama like, no heat of the moment, I wait till it calms down and I say I'm sorry.  I provide a reason if I can, but I just apologize.  

        You know what I wish for more than anything?  That my mom would have said she was sorry just once.  Just once, for anything.  And not in one her self defeating rants, I mean just on a normal day sat down, looked at things and said, you know what?  I was wrong, and I"m sorry.  Instead she punished herself with denial, and maybe even fear that I wouldn't forgive her ever.  In fact, we got into one fight where she said 'I've apologized but you won't let it go', when in fact, she never apologized.  She just didn't want to deal with the hurt that she caused.  So when I cause hurt, and I realize I did it, I try to make amends.  If they don't want to accept it right away, that's their perogative, but I bet in time they will.  All we can do is our part, and if we own up to the part we played it will be as it's supposed to.  I have even apologized for minute stuff to people that hurt me way more, just to open the door of communication and forgiveness, but sometimes they aren't ready.  I think sometimes, dealing with a little bit of forgiveness means they have to acknowledge a whole lot more of it, and let go of that protective wall.  I wish people would apologize to me, instead my family is of the denial capacity.  Deny deny deny, then hurt before they get hurt first.  It's so exhausting.  I have done my part, now it's up to them.  I think my illness scared the crap out of them, made them think about their own mortality.  If the youngest of their pack almost died, and on top of it she started actually talking about real things... well what does that do for them lol.  It hurts, but there is nothing I can do for them if they won't even acknowledge themselves.  Don't beat yourself up Imagin, all we can do is what we can do, and you are a good person, and they will forgive you in time.  
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        Lipstick

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        Tood one word for you Bravo!

        Saying your sorry can be one of the most difficult things for some people to say. For me actions speak louder than words. If someone shows remorse for their actions then i can forgive without the actual words being said.

        Sometimes i think i can forgive to a fault. I always try to understand why people do and say the things they do. If i can get a grip on it and understand why they have done me wrong i can cope with it. I think it takes a great deal of understanding and soul searching on the person who needs to forgive in a situation that is very serious.

        I am not sure if the answer lies in forgiving or understanding why it happened to begin with. If you can't justify a person actions no matter how hard you try then i think its when forgiveness is tough to do.

        You said it well imagin when you say....."When you have hurt someone, said something you never meant to say, infact what you said was the exact opposite of the truth, but were in a moment of great hurt, and pain, just not yourself.. and slashed out mean words"  The key is you were in your own pain and hurt and isn't that the reason we hurt other people anyway?

        I hope who ever it is that you need forgiveness from you have told them just what i quoted from you. To me that is understanding why you said what you said. Forgiveness should come easy.

        You have a wonderful gift of expressing yourself, use that gift and i think anyone will forgive you.

        Lips

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