How To Handle Cheap People........

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    Last post ago almost 6 years by dtsweet
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        Hi Guys and Dolls,

        There is always something that irks us about people. One thing that really bothers me is a person who is cheap. Now, i am not talking about someone who is genuinely hit on hard times. I have been there and can relate. I am talking about someone who does have money and refusing to dig in there pockets for nothing.

        I have never had an issue picking up a tab when out with friends. Sometimes even getting in a argument over who is gonna pay the bill. One time a friend came over and we were going to go out for lunch. She laid her purse down and went to use the washroom. I thought i would be clever so i took her debit card out of her purse so she couldn't pay the bill!

        When the bill came i let her pick it up. We head to the cashier and she digs in her purse unable to find her card. I said "oh well looks like i have to pay the bill"! When we got outside i hand her the debit card and starting laughing hysterically as she gives me a look of ....i can't believe what you just did!

        But there is some people who won't pick up a tab no matter what. And they have more money then i do! They will stall as the bill comes, hoping i will pay for it and most cases i do. They don't even offer to leave a tip.

        How would you handle a friend who is cheap like this? Would pick up the tab anyway or split the tab or stall and put them on the spot to pay?

        Lips
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        Joseph Kennedy

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        Stalling and putting the friend on the spot to pay will hurt the friendship imo.  If you know the friend is cheap, continue to pay, just don't go out as often.
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        I agree i could never just stall, it makes me too uncomfortable and not worth losing a friendship over.
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        BIGLEAN

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        Lips,

        I too am very generous and can NOT understand the cheapie!!! And like you said they usually have much more money than we do!
        Me being the communicator that I am, I would have to ask why they never offer to pay the bill or leave a tip! I would also probably hang out with that friend less! Or when you sit down to order tell the server it will be two separate bills!
        I really despise tight people!!!
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        genenco

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        Joseph Kennedy wrote:

        Stalling and putting the friend on the spot to pay will hurt the friendship imo.  If you know the friend is cheap, continue to pay, just don't go out as often.



        Couldn't say it any better. Too often that's how they stay rich is by making someone else "Pick up the tab"...:P
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        Luckily I don't have this problem.  Going out to anywhere with anyone is a distant memory!  But I do know cheap people, who did as you mention, or worse.  I don't see them anymore.  They are too cheap even to come out here to visit.  Once I quit passing out the money on my end, they quit mooching.
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        I know you are right slot!! But i have a hard time doing that too. I have one friend who will literally dissect the bill down to she had a small coke and i had a large and and and and ............sigh, figure out the difference in tax we each owe to the penny. I end up throwing money down on the table saying, here this is more than enough!

        Lips
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        I just pay the tab anyway.. whatever it is, whether good or bad, it always comes back at you and to each of us, i keep a smile and don't let it enter my mind.. but maybe i might go out less often, it is a shame that a friend with money doesn't pay the tab SOMETIMES.. and you can tend to beleive maybe you are being taken advantage of.. i do things because i appreciate friends...
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        gabby

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        Why not try this:

        " I would love to do lunch. I paid last time so if we are taking turns, it's your turn, right? " 

        I had a friend who would literally stand there when our young kids ran up to a gumball machine.  Obviously I was the one who dug in my purse for a few quarters.... always. Such a small amount but it drove me nuts.

        I also had a girlfriend in my very early 20's.  She would save her paychecks for months and not cash them.  When she did, she put ALL the money in her drawer and it was a big stash for our age.  When we headed to a bar, she brought $1.  Yep... $1.  Obviously nobody wanted to see her sit there and not drink and dwidle her thumbs so everyone bought her drinks.  >:(  It only took 2 trips to the bar for me to see the pattern and then.... no more mooching off of me.
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        Funny......when I saw this topic, the 1st thing that came to my mind was,"Around the neck!"

        LOL
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        gabby wrote:

        Why not try this:

        " I would love to do lunch. I paid last time so if we are taking turns, it's your turn, right? " 

        I had a friend who would literally stand there when our young kids ran up to a gumball machine.  Obviously I was the one who dug in my purse for a few quarters.... always. Such a small amount but it drove me nuts.

        I also had a girlfriend in my very early 20's.  She would save her paychecks for months and not cash them.  When she did, she put ALL the money in her drawer and it was a big stash for our age.  When we headed to a bar, she brought $1.  Yep... $1.  Obviously nobody wanted to see her sit there and not drink and dwidle her thumbs so everyone bought her drinks.   >:(  It only took 2 trips to the bar for me to see the pattern and then.... no more mooching off of me.


        I hear ya gabby and yes it is one of my biggest crosses to bear. I just for the life of me don't understand people like this.

        Could they truly be happy people? I would think not. Because giving makes you happier than receiving. At least that is how i see it.

        Lips
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        gabby

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        lipstick_xoxos wrote:

        gabby wrote:

        Why not try this:

        " I would love to do lunch. I paid last time so if we are taking turns, it's your turn, right? " 

        I had a friend who would literally stand there when our young kids ran up to a gumball machine.  Obviously I was the one who dug in my purse for a few quarters.... always. Such a small amount but it drove me nuts.

        I also had a girlfriend in my very early 20's.  She would save her paychecks for months and not cash them.  When she did, she put ALL the money in her drawer and it was a big stash for our age.  When we headed to a bar, she brought $1.  Yep... $1.  Obviously nobody wanted to see her sit there and not drink and dwidle her thumbs so everyone bought her drinks.  >:(  It only took 2 trips to the bar for me to see the pattern and then.... no more mooching off of me.


        I hear ya gabby and yes it is one of my biggest crosses to bear. I just for the life of me don't understand people like this.

        Could they truly be happy people? I would think not. Because giving makes you happier than receiving. At least that is how i see it.

        Lips


        I just saw this.  I guess if that is one of your biggest crosses to bear, we can count you lucky.

        Trying to see the glass 1/2 full and all.
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        dtsweet

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        Direct is best
        If already out, a direct "Hey, I'll grab dinner, you leave the tip"
        If palnning to go out, "tight week for me; let's split the bill" before setting the plan.
        If she says no before you even go out, then you know she's only it for the free ride anyway ..and while it's fine to be generous, ya gotta take of yourself first

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