If your neighbors were screaming and fighting, would you call the police?

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    chillymellow

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        chillymellow

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        You know how neighbors can be.  Some good, some bad, some horrible.  Some you hear fighting all the time.  Some have loud parties.  At what point would you quit ignoring your loud neighbors, and at what point would you personally intervene or call the police?

        On Cafe Mom, this question was asked and out of the 62 replies, here are some responses:

        "Depends on what I'm doing and what time of the day/night it was. I would really only call if it were late at night and I was trying to sleep because I had work the next day. Now if I heard her getting banged up, then yeah I would definitely call."

        "Only if I heard things being thrown, a child crying, or if someone was screaming in pain.  If it's just screaming, I'd leave them alone."

        "My neighbor and her son fight all the time.  I was outside playing with my son this past fall and could hear their whole argument.  It was very entertaining."

        Lots of various responses. 

        I am currently without a phone to call anyone, let alone the police.  And I just finished screaming at my neighbors "Would somebody please call the police!?!" as I was assaulted by my estranged husband as he was leaving my property.  I screamed several times, and I know that some of my neighbors could hear me.  Nobody came.  Nobody called.  I've got a swollen lip and bruised wrist which is better than what he said he was going to do to me.  The only recourse I had was to send an email to his bondswoman (he is out on pr bond for assaulting me last year).  In my county, they are out of room in the jail and have to pay $35,000 a month to send 35 inmates to another county's jail.  So they don't want to be bringing in "petty" criminals like woman-beaters as it's too expensive. 

        Would you call if your neighbors were fighting or only if you saw someone get hurt or what?  I would call anytime for anyone in danger.
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        chillymellow

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        fyi I got in touch with my out-of-town daughter and she called the police for me so I am waiting to make a report.
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        blueday

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          OMG so that story is your story Chilly?  Sorry to hear that - I hope you get it all sorted and you are ok.

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          chillymellow

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          Yes, all is fine, they are looking for him and will put a warrant out tomorrow.  It's his second time with this county and he is out on bond right now for the first, so hopefully they'll actually keep him in jail this time.  But I am still interested in general as to the question of would folks call the cops on their neighbors.  In my experience, they don't want to get involved.
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          blueday

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            It didn't feel appropriate to respond but I will now.

            Not sure if you recall my thread on my neighbours - the screaming, rowing, banging and crashing going on all the time.  I didn't call the police at any point because I knew all was "as ok as it could be" but there was one occasion when I picked up the phone but then I heard the woman shouting again so I knew all was well.  So I guess I would pick up the phone and call if I knew that a neighbour was being assaulted/attacked/was in danger.

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            im sorry to hear of your miss fortune chilly and i hope you are ok,

            and as for calling the police, it would depend on many factors, time of day or night, how long it was happening for and if there was banging, i can admit that i have called the police 3 times for neighbours, and yes that might seem a lot, but my neighbourhood isnt exactly the best one

            but i really do hope they find him and put him away

            my thoughts are with you chilly

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            Johnny Karp

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            I would and already did that once when one of my neighbors was beating his wife so hard that her screams could be heard all over the neighborhood.
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            LhasaLover

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            Chilly, I'm so sorry to hear this.  Been there, done that, on both sides of that story.  My first husband was abusive, and I had a boyfriend (briefly) a few years later that got abusive also.  After that, I was so angry & sensitive to physical abuse that if a man touched me even slightly wrong, I turned deadly serious and they knew not to do it again.  I hope you live in a state that takes domestic abuse seriously.  Here in So Carolina they don't, and there are way too many deaths at the hands of ex/spouses.  And yes, I've called the cops many times.  I believe in getting involved.

            I don't want to pry (so tell me to shut up, or just ignore me), but why don't you have a cell phone?  DSS in some states offer free phones to people who qualify, specifically for emergencies.  Are you in touch with any abused women's organizations?  They have resources that may be able to help.

            You don't have to take that from anyone, man or woman!!  Get yourself a phone, a big dog, pepper spray, a taser, take some classes in self-defense, do something.  Arm yourself with knowledge, help, and self esteem, PLEASE!

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            OMG chill i would call in a heart beat and i would get involved because no woman deserves such a thing to happen no matter what the situation 
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            chillymellow

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            I did have a cell phone with assurance wireless, which gives me 250 minutes and texts a month.  But my husband took it and 'lost' it.  I have been kind of laid up with a back injury all month, but got my daughter to come up and borrowed some money to buy a replacement phone on Saturday.

            As is with my luck, the phone wouldn't activate, and the carrier shows it is activated.  Couldn't fix it on their website or on the phone using their directions, so now need to find a ride back to san antonio, return the phone if they let me, and try to get another. 

            And I'm still doing okay though still kind of stuck out here trying to get someone to help me with getting the phone taken care of and probably go back and try to get a second opinion on my back issues. 

            These have been good and insightful replies, thanks everyone!
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            bingocrazy48

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            Chilly,I'd call the cops without a second thought!! There were times with my ex when I wish someone had!!

            Best of luck to you and I hope you get that phone situation taken care of!!
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            I really hope that police will catch him. Shame on your neighbors, they should have done something to help you.

            I would call the police, no doubt about that.
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            I would call especially if  someone was screaming "call the police".  If someone is having your average fight it would depend but if it seemed violent I would call.  On that note, wow chilly I'm so sorry that you had to go through that.  Hope you're safe from now on.
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            chillymellow

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            they are sending me a new phone and it should be here within 4 days.  yeah! 

            thanks again for your answers as well as your kind words for me.  I think a lot of people don't want to stir things up or get involved or maybe fear retaliation from the neighbor for calling.  This may be one area of human relations that needs some help in educating the population in 'the right thing to do'.  Texas has a strong initiative to stop abuse, but the facts are that jails are full, and there are a lot of areas of the state that just haven't gotten the message yet.  I've had to call the police out here before when he was destroying my house, and had pushed me around.  They should have taken him in, but since it's "community property" (even though I set my house purchase up where it was solely mine) and since they didn't *see* him do anything they said he could burn the place down and there was nothing I could do.  This time, though, there were no problems, it was fast, non-traumatic and a good experience with the county deputies and a state trooper.
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            blueday

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              Glad to hear that Chilly.  Make sure you keep your phone charged and on you at all times.

              Hopefully all your man troubles are over.

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