Need some Ideas

Hey gang,

As most of you already know, this past February my father past away. In a few days it will be his birthday. My parents have been married over 50 years, and my mother is so lost without him. I really want to take her out and do something but at the same time I don't want to upset her. I know she is already going to be upset, I just don't want to make it worse. One my fathers oldest and dearest friend called me last night and wanted to go and see my mother on that day but was worried she would get upset. We were talking and thinking of having a BBQ (which my father loved to do) in his honor (and purposely burning the chicken like he always did) but not sure how to bring up the suggestion to my mother. It is not as easy as it looks talking to my mother about my father, my mother is not is the greatest of health and I don't want to make her upset. And to be honest here, I am not sure how I will be on his birthday either. But I do know I want to do something like I have always done on his birthday. Any suggestions?

Thanks.
LH

Surprise her! If BBQ was your fathers speciality, do it for her, burn the chicken, but don´t tell her about the whole thing.

Then add a favourite drink/dish of her for the moment, when feelings of loss come up and surprise her with this.

This moment will come anyway and you will have a surprise "on top" to show her that life goes on and that you will be with her.

You know Rokko, that just might be the way to go. I have always done something for my father on his birthday. Last year when he turned 70 I had a big dinner party for him at a hotel reception room. Sort of like a "Roast" type of deal. Where people from him past and present would say funny things and tell about things they shared with my father. He had such a good time he talked about it for months.

My concern is this will be the first birthday without him, and I just don't want to do something that my mother can not handle. She still can not talk about him without tears coming to her eyes. But a surprise just might be the way to go. It is going to be a hard day no matter what, I am sure of that, but I know my father always looked forward to what I had planned for him for his birthday because a month before it he would start grilling me about it. And when my daughter was old enough to understand he would bribe her with a sundae from Friendly's to see if she would tell him.

I am going to talk to my brother and sisters and see what they think tonight. I will let you what we decide to do. Thanks for the idea, Rokko, I really do appreciate it.

LH