Please please please tell me what you would do!

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        Lipstick

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        Hiya Guys and Dolls,

        I have a serious question. And i really need to know how members feel. A question about having a baby came up with a friend. I asked him if he had to make a choice between saving the mother or the baby during childbirth in a life or death situation what would he do. The key here in this scenario is it would be his ONLY opportunity to have a baby ever!

        I was a little taken back by his answer. He is very much in love with his girlfriend and hopes to one day marry her. His honest answer was he didn't know what he would do. It was a tough decision for him to decide.

        I was floored because i really expected him to say he would want to save his wife. I am curious to know how the ladies would feel about this if there husband/boyfriend said this. I am also curious to hear from the guys and what they would do.

        It is a serious question because now his girlfriend is very upset by his answer.

        Lips
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        Tirilej

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        You can probably never give the right answer to that kind of question. I should say save my child if I was the mother, and I believe I would want my husband to say the same. That would be true love from my side.
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        I agree with you as a mother i would want to save the baby. It is a natural instinct. And if a mom ever loses a child in child birth they understand the grief.

        But there is something sad about knowing that your mate would possibly choose for you to die. It's a complex question and much easier to answer if there is time to think about it and live it.

        But i think when your in love and about to get married the first impulse for a man to say would be save his wife.........maybe i am wrong.

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        ishin

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        I personally would opt to save my girlfriend/ wife.

        If I chose to end my girlfriend's/ wife's life, I would not be able live even a single happy day from that moment forward.

        There are thousands upon thousands of babies in the world who would love to be adopted.
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        drpsyce38

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        Okay...just to ADD to the conversation.  I would say the ethical thing to do would be to also choose to save the baby.
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        genenco

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        Well, there's 2 answers possible.

        "Save the wife" (We could always adopt)

        "Save the child" (I could always remarry)

        Thank goodness neither has ever come before me...No, I cannot answer either...
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        tamaroa

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        Of course save the wife/mother. The couple always adopt, get a seragant mother , etc. etc.    I knew a couple once that lost a child . after that she was told she had to have a surgery and could never bar echildren. Her sister-in-law had a baby for her and they are all happy to this day
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        save the mother..you made a commitemnt to love her above all others...a loss of a child is a TERRIBLE loss, but there are others who would appreciate the chance of having 2 loving parents, and IF the child were born?...no guarantees.
        With the wife, well, if you truly loved her, shes irreplaceable!
        Best answer? Have the convo before these things come up...find out where your partner stands, perhaps theyre willing to sacrifice
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        Deb321

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        I personally think the decision should be up to the mother of the baby. I myself would want my child to live and have a chance. I already would have experienced life. That is just my opinion and I know alot of people would disagree with that. I almost had to make that choice when my daughter was born but thankfully everything worked out and we both survived. But even so, I would have wanted her to survive.

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        drpsyce38

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        To Deb's point:  This is why I voted "save the baby."  Now, I realize this is a very, very complex and painful decision.  But, I am just trying to create conversation.  Deb raises two VERY good points.

        1.  It may be the desire of the mother for her to die and the baby to live.  Feeling she has had a chance to live and experience life and the baby has a brand new life before him/her.  It could be an amazing act of sacrifical love where the mother lays her life aside and the baby lives.

        2.  As mentioned in number 1.  One could make an ethical decision based on the fact the mother has lived a good slice of life and the baby has not.  Hence, the decision goes to the baby.
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        well, here's a tragic twist on the queston:
        http://videogames.yahoo.com/events/plugged-in/gamers-lend-support-to-widow-of-heroic-developer/1410899

        Brian Wood spent his life thrilling millions of faceless gamers, but his last moment was spent saving the lives of those he loved most.

        Wood, a 33 year-old lead designer at popular game developer Relic Entertainment, was on his way back to his Washington home when his wagon was struck by an oncoming Chevy Blazer being driven by a 21 year-old woman believed to be driving under the influence. With his pregnant wife Erin in the passenger seat, Wood swerved his car to put himself directly in the path of the oncoming SUV -- a decision that ultimately cost him his life, but protected his wife and unborn child from harm. Two other passengers riding in the backseat of the Blazer were also killed.

        "All the policeman say that if we had hit the car head-on all of us would be dead," Erin Wood told The Province. "At the very last second (Brian) braked really hard and turned right so that he would be put in the path of the SUV and not me and the baby, and that is the only thing that saved us both."

        "He was always sacrificing himself for me and the baby," she added.
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        mamrone

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        personaly this question has no answer, why, because NO ONE can say what they would do until they are in the situation! Without all the emotion of the real deal it is easy to say what you would do but until it really happens no one now for sure how they would react. I would tell the Doctor I don't care how you do it save both.
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        Regardless of the ethics and our personal feelings, the common medical practice (at least what I'm familiar with in my country) is to save the mother if they both stand the same chances of surviving. Why? Well, that's probably because babies upon birth are much more sensitive and prone to various infections (therefore they may die anyway, and then you'd lose both), much more than adults who have already developed immunity.

        Personally, I believe not a single person would continue their life happily, whatever choice of the two they made...
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        ishin

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        mamrone wrote:


        ... I would tell the Doctor I don't care how you do it save both.



        ...in the given scenario,  only one could be saved.

        And to tell the Doctor, "I don't care how you do it save both," is unfair.
        No matter how good s/he is, a Doctor is merely a craftsman, not a miracle provider.  
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        It's too hard a decision, but I would tell him to save the baby.  And to reverse it, say your husband and only child were in a life threatening situation and you could only get one of them out.  I would save my child.  I love my mate, but I would save my child every time.  Even a newborn baby we were bringing home from the hospital fresh after delivery, I would grab that baby and hope my husband was OK.  Just to even it up a little.

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