Should parents be held responsible for their children's bad behavior ?

Hi Gang:

Parents are responsible for raising children to be a productive part of society, we all agree?

So what do you do if you are a parent who has done everything possible to try and raise your kids correctly yet your child gets into trouble?

Should parents of underage vandals be held responsible for thier childrens damage?
Is it appropriate to impose financial penalties?

What is the best way to tackle wayward children – and their parents?


Perhaps the laws are to strict for how we are able to disapline a child and that has something to do with good children going bad. (Are they aware of the fact there is no repercussion for their actions?)

What are your views?

                                                    PMM

Girl don't get me started!  My sons are GREAT BOYS (well 1 is now a man) they don't talk back they hold open the door for others.  They have TOTAL RESPECT for myself, elders and authority.  I know for a fact that if I didn't spank their  little butts more often than not when they were younger it would be soooooo different.
I am far from a child abuser, I have never left a mark on my boys other than a little redness that disappeared after 5 minutes or so. 

They call it the "terrible 2's" for a reason, a child knows the meaning of the word NO but they want to see how far they can push it.  If you don't make it clear who the parent is, your child ends up like my neighbors son who is 8, he YELLS at her tells her to SHUT UP, I DON'T WANT TOO etc. and in a horribly disrespectful tone of voice.  Or like the kids you see on the talk shows that are 10 yrs old and the parents are afraid of their own child. 

We are raising a generation of disrespectful kids who could care less about authority.
I know my mom whooped my @@@ on several occasions and I deserved it EVERYTIME, I think most of us here in the forum have had our share of @@@ whoopin's and there is NOTHIN wrong with us! (hehe) 

I could have went ON and ON, but I didn't fee l like having CPS called on my ass!  LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Yep...."Brat-ism" is at an all time high. 

If they aren't responsible in raising them, then they can pay again and maybe they might learn, but a little late.

Make the kids work off the debt.

Had it happen in Or some years ago. Mom and Dad got the bill..Not fun for $50,000

Absolutely! They are children and don't know any better unless they are taught by someone who is supposed to know better.

Some parents think that talking back and hitting when they are young is cute, but you gotta remember they don't stay little and that same stuff you allowed when they were little will carry over as they grow and then...you got a big ol' monster that you can't control :'(

Talking back to you and anybody else they feel like talking back to and in some cases they even think they might wanna hit you...I tell you what, I have 3 sons, the oldest is almost 22, almost 10 and 8. I am 5' 4" the oldest stands 6' 2" and if he eva even looks like he might be thinking about hitting me...I promise you, he will draw back a NUB!!! I would try to practically take his head off...period!! I know to some of you this sounds like OMG she is an abuser...well I tell you like this, call it what you want to, but before I let any child of mine abuse me I will teach them what abuse means! I am not having it and I will not have them talk to or act crazy with any other adults!

I, like Shelli have wonderful boys and I get told that all the time. Part of it is because I have honestly just been blessed with good kids. I don't have to do excessive parenting for them to act like they got some sense. I, again like Shelli got that in check when they were very young. My firstborn tried only once to show out in public and got his little butt whooped and never did it again.

Kids even as young as toddlers are very smart and will do what you let them do and they know who they can do it with and who they can't. I will get you in public and whoever wants to call the law go right ahead...hell I'll call em', cause I be damned if I am gonna (carry them for 9 months, go thru the most painful pain ever of birthing them and do every thing I know how to raise them right and shower them with unconditional love and then when they temporarily lose they mind and act a fool in public and get smacked up) let somebody (usually the person who has the brats and teenagers at home making bombs and schemes to kill them with) tell me I am not allowed to do what is necessary and I repeat necessary to keep these kids on track
Our children are a direct reflection of us so we need to make sure that we as parents raise them to reflect that.

I keep open communication with my boys so they can tell or ask me anything and I will explain it to them(including why they got a whooping) on a level they can understand. In fact, I usually have them tell me why they got they biscuits burned(whooping)  that way it makes them have to think about their actions and not mine(the whooping)!

I got my butt whooped(not like my bad ass sisters though) and I am still alive, I don't have any slave marks on me,  I am not in any counseling because of it, I am not angry, I don't go around fighting all the time, its all good. A little ass whooping with alot of LOVE is the best thing you can do for a child

The main reason I got out of professional counseling was because of all the BRATS parents would bring to me to "straighten out."  It did no good because mom and dad had created the monster and no matter what I did, they did all they could to FEED the monsters they created.

Parenting is at an all time low in the country.  An all time LOW.

I think, to me this is one of the toughtest question of all...I have many things to say about it since I rasied my 17 years younger brother and my 15 year old at the sme time as a single mother for a long time. I was raised in the influence of ppl would blame themselves if their childeren did something wrong no matter what. So I did my share of blaming myself whenever My daughter disbehaved but not any more. I came to realized that I can only do my best to teach so much, I help them to build the strong foundation but the rest of it, they have to build it themselves. I am lucky when it comes to both of them, they both have more than good manners and respect others but did I teach them  good so they are who they are???
One of the true crime book about this guy called Charles NG...he was the worst serial killer everborn, he killed innocent men and women, even bragged about killing little babies...in trial, his father from Vietam spoke with tears, asking for forgivenss to families of victims saying that it is all his fault...was it? did he bring the child to be a serial killer not to mention to go to another country to do it? What could possibly his parent could have done???
My brother was in all in honor classes and I had never asked him to do is homework or study, at the same time, I have to constantly yell at my daughter to do it...SIGH~...did I punish him good so he was atfraid? nope. Sometimes some kids are just different. All we can do is to teach them the right and wrong...not to steal, hurt others,...behave, be polite...what else am I missing? lol...

  you raises your children with love , good values , and a firm hand for the back side . everything falls in place . I'm 38 y.o. my son is 19 and i sole parent from 4 on . we had some problems as kids will have but its how handle things that matter , you've always got to lead by example . work ,keep your word ,and never ask a child to lie for you about anything . my son has been living on his own for a year now , and attending college fulltime . he holds down a job so he can live off campus .
  also i have a nephew that's been living with me for 6 years now , he will be 18 next year . my sister and her husband both good people told me they could not control him . so he was sent to me we had a few problems in the beginning believe he was trying to test the waters . but it took no time before he realized i was his last chance . i don't put with bullshit from anyone mostly a child and i don't care how big they think they are I'll get that ass . but I'll never hold a grudge and I'm more then fair . needles to say its been an absolute  joy to have him .
  so to close i don't think there is a bad child , maybe bad or uninformed parents . children's are sponges they learn from what they see even smallest things that you don't think matter .

I totally agree with you Slotjunkie and Shelli. I raised my kids the same way. I also believe it is important for parents to allow their kids to get involved in sports, dance, music, whatever interest they might have because it keeps them busy and out of trouble or at least it worked for my son. My husband and I always got involved with what they did and I enjoyed every minute of it and truly miss it now that they are adults.

That's right Deb, the involvement in side activities is not only a way to keep them busy, it also helps them to build relationships outside of home and the classroom and it helps build their confidence!

My husband and I have been volunteer youth basketball coaches for 3 years now(I had to nudge him a bit, but now he loves it) and I absolutely love the fact that we are their interacting with our children in the things they enjoy doing as well as all of the other children on the team

You know you are doing a good thing when the parents an dchildren keep in touch off season and call you before it is time to sign up to make sure you are still coaching because they want their kids to play on your team only

I love it when their little faces light up when they see us coming they run up and give me lots of hugs...it is very special

And like Deb, I am not going to know what to do with myself when they are all grown and gone... :'(