So Impacted by my Morning Drive....

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Last post made 12 years ago by blueday
Lipstick
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  • Hiya Guys and Dolls,

    Just about every morning i make my coffee run even on those days i don't want to because Hazel is waiting at the door like "c'mon mom let's go"!

    I have a couple different places i go for coffee but i have been compelled to go to one place even though i like the coffee better at the other. It's in a strip mall and everything else is closed that early in the morning.

    There is a place to donate plasma. And like ground hound day every morning it is the same. There are groves of people waiting for the doors to open to donate plasma for cash.

    It's obvious by looking at these people they are hard pressed for cash as well as hit hard times. Deep inside i think ..ya know i could be one of those people some day and i feel fortunate that i am not at the moment.

    But there is a deeper emotion for these people. The sadness on their faces. No one smiles and there is a sense deep sorrow or loneliness. I don't know what put them there and it does not really matter if it was an addiction, homeless or loss of employment. The bottom line is they are broke and in deep despair.

    I have thought many times to wave at them as i drive by or give them a warm smile just to express i understand how you feel. But fear how they would take that. Would they think i was making a mockery of them?

    I have even thought of bringing them all a cup of coffee as they wait outside. And just like we all dream "if i ever one the lottery" i think i would go straight there to the same faces i see day after day waiting and waiting with no life in their eyes and share my wealth. 

    Do i take a different route and ignore them or is there some type of small gesture i can make to show kindness to them.  What do you think?

    Lips
  • i think that u should buy the coffee and maybe some dougnuts and let them know that u didnt want to drink ur coffee alone today...and would like them to drink with you...something along those lines so they dont feel like u r sorry for them..

    but if u feel like it is something u should do it is because there is somethng u should do...and it doesnt take hitting the lottery to do so...

    ur heart is in the right place lips..

    GOD BLESS YOU

  • Wow that's a tough one. I totally understand how that must make you feel and I understand your hesitation. Granted, some may be donating out of the kindness of their hearts but for some it may be pure desperation. If I put myself in their situation, from a desperation point of view, I think I'd rather be ignored. Gosh, It would honestly depend on what's going on in my life.

    It's definitely a toss up especially when you are dealing with a group of strangers with different personalities and circumstances. BE CAREFUL. I say if you want to help, contribute to a charity or shelter. I know you have good intentions but approaching any group of people in a deserted strip mall just makes me nervous for you.

  • Being a stimulant, coffe may not be such a good idea for some of those people. In order to qualify to donate your pulse and blood pressure have to be within a certain range and quite a few of those people are likely to be pretty borderline. I used to donate fairly often and for some reason it was always a real stretch with my pulse rate. Probably in part because I was already stressed about needing some extra cash and not sure if I'd make the cut that time; sometimes it just wouldn't get low enough.

    If you really feel compelled to do something though, doughnuts wouldn't be a bad idea. They usually give you something sweet to get your blood sugar back up afterwards anyway.

  • It would be a very kind gesture Lips but if you do it once, will they be expecting it every day (assuming it is the same people donating)?

    Also, as Froggy points it, it could be dangerous with all the different characters that you come across.  If you do decide to do it, I'm sure they will be very welcoming but do take care.

    blue

  • Lips I am with the others on the danger of the thing, but I also agree that the desire to do something is strong and right.

    What to do would put me in a quandary, but bradwill has some experience so is probably right about the coffee and you do not want whatever you do to affect their ability to get the money they need.

    To mitigate the danger, enlist the help of some friends and do it together... safety in numbers and an opportunity for more people to give of themselves.

    Finally, a huge pot of hot soup, or oatmeal since it is early, comes to mind. Or fruit... something healthy that will sustain them for more than the little moment that a donut satisfies?

    katt

  • You are a kind soul Lips, I admire that a lot. I think that the coffee gesture wouldn't be out of line, on the contrary, I think that they might appreciate it.

  • I don't think it really matters what you share...either coffee or even boxes of cheapest donuts in the world, what matters is the fact that you're putting your thoughts and care into doing something kind for others and the thoughts that go along with that act of kindness.
    The simple saying goes with this, "its the thought that counts."

  • Your replies were really good and gave me a chance to look at it on both sides.

    I know it can be a bit risky cuz it so early in the morn and kinda desolate. But i will try it at least once and see how it goes and take it from there.

    I might go with the donut idea and bring them tomorrow and let you know how it went.

    Lips
  • I can see both sides of it. As you wrote, most are there out of desperation and probably feels no one cares. If the smallest gesture can make a huge difference. 

  • Nice of you to care about them, Lips. 

    I am one who doesn't think of the dangers first but helping.

    Since your first thought was some looked down and out, by all means pass around some coffee, pastries or whatever you can.  Trust me, nobody will think you are looking down on them as charity cases...instead... as a great lady who is sharing kindness with strangers.

    I saw something on a TV show and have done it myself. I had some family and friends over and to make toiletry baggies.  Everyone brought stuff and we put soap, towelettes, toothbrushes, toothpaste, little shampoos, mints, etc.... and my SIL and me drove to the worst part of downtown MPLS and gave them to the homeless.  If it was really scary, we tossed them through the window.  I swear, it was like giving $50 bills.  Very grateful and no upturned noses.  I stay away from the clearly mentally ill but the others seem down on their luck and just like everyone else. 

    Who knows when we ourselves may need a helping hand or little lift.  The smallest things can give someone hope and a smile...which goes a loooooong way.

  • Hiya Guys and Dolls,

    I got up this morn and me and Hazel were on a mission! I figured 5 boxes of donuts would do it!

    As i am driving of course i am a bit nervous cuz i am not sure how they will receive me. I didn't have nerves out of fear but more out of i hope they know my intentions are nothing but good.

    Then a thought came over me........what if one of them said "we don't know you, what makes you think we would take something from a stranger"! My immediate thought to that was feeling sad but then i thought about it a minute longer........

    It would represent their worth! To know that their pride was still in tacked and they value themselves as well as the next person would make me feel good if this is how it should turn out. 

    Wouldn't you know it.........i got there just a little bit too late. The doors had just opened moments before  sad. At least i was lucky enough to discover that on the way to get the donuts or else i would of had more donuts then i knew what to do with!

    I really really loved the idea curtsonlylove had to get out and say i didn't want to have my coffee alone today. If things go well i think i would love to do just that next time.

    Tomorrow i'll go again and with a little luck i can let ya know how it went cuz 9 times out of 10 the doors aren't open when i drive by.

    Lips
  • Good for you for trying! 

    I'm laugh_out_loud'ing since I would have most likely had the same thoughts floating through my mind as I set out on the mission. smiley 

  • What a very nice idea Lips!!! I hope all goes well for you when you try again.

  • Lips, you could have given the donuts to the people without bragging about it.  One may think you did it to try to impress the Forum, not for the goodwill of the people.


  • Lips, you could have given the donuts to the people without bragging about it.  One may think you did it to try to impress the Forum, not for the goodwill of the people.


    You know, Pacer, I've just read 3 of your posts and you sure are a negative nelly.  

    I've been off the boards for a bit and this is the type of posting I did NOT miss.

    Lips can speak for herself but it's my feeling YOU are the only one who would take a random act of kindness and stomp on it. 

  • I was talking to Lips.  (whom I consider a friend).  And friends can be honest with one another.


  • I was talking to Lips.  (whom I consider a friend).  And friends can be honest with one another.




    Wasn't a very nice way to talk to a friend. 

    Remind me never to become your enemy. smiley
  • Looking back at my donation days, I'd like to offer another suggestion, though donuts are probably always welcome.  First of all, perhaps it would be best to approach the staff inside the day before and make sure they have no problems with your generosity.  They may let you take the donuts inside to be available to everyone without you having to personally hand them out.  I was thinking juice boxes might be nice, as some people don't like coffee, but most like some nurishing juice like apple, or orange. 
    I used to find a "case" of juice in little cups in the frozen section of the local HEB grocery store, and maybe they have them at warehouses like Sam's.  Fresh fruit might also be a nice idea.  In any case, you are very nice for thinking about the people standing out there.  They save lives every day.  Yes, they are getting a small amount of cash for their plasma or blood products, but most of them come there without any cash in their pockets for something like coffee, juice, or a lite breakfast snack.  And some are turned away at times and that may be all they get for the whole day or until they are allowed back.


  • Lips, you could have given the donuts to the people without bragging about it.  One may think you did it to try to impress the Forum, not for the goodwill of the people.
    wow!!! I seriously doubt Lips was bragging.          Lips,you are a kind soul,keep on doing what you feel is right.

  • Lips, you could have given the donuts to the people without bragging about it.  One may think you did it to try to impress the Forum, not for the goodwill of the people.


    I wouldn't call this bragging, she just asked for our opinions because she was unsure about doing this or not. There is no doubt in my mind that bragging wasn't her purpose at all.


  • Lips, you could have given the donuts to the people without bragging about it.  One may think you did it to try to impress the Forum, not for the goodwill of the people.


    I wouldn't call this bragging, she just asked for our opinions because she was unsure about doing this or not. There is no doubt in my mind that bragging wasn't her purpose at all.


    Absolutely right Johnny.

    I think you have chosen the wrong words Pacer, "bragging" being one of them.

    I fully understand Lips being so hesitant and I think if I were in her position, I would have sought some views too before doing anything.

    blue


  • Lips, you could have given the donuts to the people without bragging about it.  One may think you did it to try to impress the Forum, not for the goodwill of the people.


    Are you freaking kidding me??? I am in shock. Please don't say that comment wasn't intended to be nasty because it certainly was. This forum was built on kindness and you could stand to learn a thing or two about it.
  • ....................many thanks to all of you and understanding where i am coming from.

    Today i got up early enough and once again me and hazel (with her head and tongue hanging out the window) headed on our morning coffee run.

    I saw prolly about 30 people or so waiting outside and was kinda excited to finally do what i have been wanting to do. I ordered my boxes of donuts and put them in the back seat and headed to the Plasma Center.

    I pulled up right in front and as i got out i said hi to them. I heard a few "hellos" as i reached in the back seat to grab the boxes. Looking for a person with direct eye contact to deliver the donuts to i found a man who was standing very near to the car.

    I told him the donut shop had a surplus of extra donuts they gave me for being a good customer and there is no way i could possibly eat them all! And i thought it might be perfect for all of you to share.

    He said thank you and as well as a few more people who came over to us. I hopped back in my car and said enjoy and i hope all of you have a good day!

    Maybe i am wishful thinking but i felt like i saw a bit of a spark in some of their eyes where they are usually lifeless. A couple of people nodded their heads as i drove off.

    As i pulled away had a big smile on my face and felt a sense of great accomplishment like i was fulfilling a "bucket list" thing to do.

    I want to thank everyone for their input it really helped me in making the right decision. Now that i broke the ice it will be much easier next time!

    Lips




  • Very cool. Glad it worked out and you made some people happy this weekend.  Donuts make everything better anyway don't they??? thumbs_up

  • "Are you freaking kidding me??? I am in shock. Please don't say that comment wasn't intended to be nasty because it certainly was. This forum was built on kindness and you could stand to learn a thing or two about it."-Froggy

    The comment wasn't kind and I am sorry for making it.

    Who would have imagined that a morning drive would turn into a ministry for Lips. 

  • Please don't apologize by adding another insult pacer....

    I chose to ignore your initial remarks to prevent escalating this thread from getting ugly. But unfortunately you leave me no choice but to respond.

    I do not and will not let anyone insult a member or staff on this forum and you and i both know i have defended you yourself when you were attacked on this very forum. I suppose it is a moment i had to step in and was forced to defend myself.

    I am afraid you are no "friend" of mine. Because if you were you would know me well enough not to accuse me the way you have.

    It is unfortunate that when someone expresses real raw emotions from the heart it is so easily misconstrued as trying to "stroke" their own ego or have some secret agenda. In fact the only one with a real agenda here is you.

    I brought my story here because i wanted opinions and advice and as i logged in that day it weighed heavy on my mind. My intent was sincere. I was not looking for glory nor praise rather how to make some less fortunate people a little bit happier.

    Looks like i made you happy as well today. You achieved your goal to stir up drama and get my attention the best way you could or at least try desperately to shoot me down.

    Lips
  • Geez Mr.Kennedy alias pacer...I thought you were apologizing  too until I read farther.Is there something going on with you lately that makes you want to criticize others on here or are you just being mean to have something to do??I have also noticed along with other members how negative your post are lately.Maybe you need to step back and think before you say things that have come out of your a-- because quite frankly...I hope your mouth has more sense! It's not lips who is seeking attention but you.        We love you lips!!!

  • Thanks for the great update Lips.  You certainly did it in such a way that they had no idea that you paid for them.  Kudos to you.

    blue

  • "I brought my story here because i wanted opinions and advice and as i logged in that day it weighed heavy on my mind. My intent was sincere. I was not looking for glory nor praise rather how to make some less fortunate people a little bit happier."-Lips

    Once again I apologize.  There's never shame in well-doing and hope the Karma pays off for you several times over..

    Please let me out of the doghouse...

  • Lips, giving not only helps the givee, but the giver, as well. We should all be so thoughtful.

  • Great words of wisdom wmmeden..........

    I think in some ways it has healing powers inside us all.

    Lips
  • "Looks like i made you happy as well today. You achieved your goal to stir up drama and get my attention the best way you could or at least try desperately to shoot me down."-Lips

    My goal was not to create drama.  Just like former French President Jacques Chirac told U.S. President Bush as a friend not to invade Iraq because "friends can be honest with each other", I figured it would be reasonable to say the same on this issue--and it would be plain for all to see.

  • I think friends can be honest with each other, but honestly, you shoulda maybe done that in a PM, pacer, friend to friend.  Probably a better thing to do for a friend than to put it out here where, let's see....38,000 people might read it.

    I can understand your goal or intent wasn't to create drama, but drunk drivers don't have a goal or intent to cause wrecks and kill people either. 

    Just food for thought, not trying to criticize.  I've stirred things up in the forum a lot myself without necessarily intending to do so.  It happens.  Hopefully we can all get over it.  If not, oh well.  I hope that everyone can appreciate that things happen in life and in LCB.  Sometimes it's best to ignore them or learn how to avoid these sensitive situations.  I also hope you can appreciate that most all of us would also come to your defense should someone appear to be making an attack on your character or posts. 

    Let's all kiss and make up.  kiss  kiss  :'X

  • only if I can get some tongue. tongue


  • only if I can get some tongue. tongue
            laugh_out_loud laugh_out_loud laugh_out_loud...I love that idea    embarrassed embarrassed I mean the making up part wink wink kiss
  • Come on, Froggy, Lips, group hug!!!  (No tongue for you Wanda)  shocked

  • music whistle  like a bridge over troubled waters, I will lay me down. music whistle

    Tongue or no tongue!  wink worn_out worn_out
  • What!!! Well, okay. 

  • I don't know but I'm with you guys.  lol

  • I'm very happy that you made the donut delivery Lips, it's a great thing to do and I congratulate you for having the courage to do it.

  • The thing is Lips, you are always bragging on yourself.  Moreover, you use your position as a moderator to bully and to stifle real debate.

  • the thing is Pacer, this aint the first time you been out of a line and showed disrespect to Lips and other Mods.

    Your presence is no longer welcomed

  • Well, that's what he gets.  Lips, I think you are a beautiful person and am sorry for all Pacer said to you.  It was very nice what you did, and I'm glad you shared with us.

  • Just want to know what the heck was going on?? All that seemed to come out of nowhere.

  • Me, too.  I don't know where that was all coming from, and when it looked smoothed over a bit, it then got worse.  Maybe it's just lack of free chips, the heat, and personal issues.  Even Superheros fall sometimes.

  • :(  I don't know why all this makes me sad. sad

    Perhaps it's has something to do with having a 110 heat index today and sweating through a 3 1/2 hour baseball game. You know the humidity that heats you like an oven when you step outside... that kind of hot.

    Anyway.... I thought Pacer was a good guy and have no idea why the first and especially last comment was made.

    I was the first to respond and tried to do so, in both posts, with a bit of directness but not in a mean way.

    *sigh*  Just sad......

  • I thought he was apologizing and than he starts all over again...unreal and sad!!What was pacers' agenda anyways? A debate is NOT bashing another member.

  • This is sad indeed, such a great initiative from Lips turned into an opportunity for someone to make totally outrageous comments. I just can't understand why...


  • :(  I don't know why all this makes me sad. sad

    Perhaps it's has something to do with having a 110 heat index today and sweating through a 3 1/2 hour baseball game. You know the humidity that heats you like an oven when you step outside... that kind of hot.

    Anyway.... I thought Pacer was a good guy and have no idea why the first and especially last comment was made.

    I was the first to respond and tried to do so, in both posts, with a bit of directness but not in a mean way.

    *sigh*  Just sad......


    I agree. It's sad the way he spoke about someone on the forum, mod or not. Pacer was a source of negativity on more than one occasion.

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