Stay or get the Heck outta Dodge?

I recently read a story about a woman who find out her man was a woman at birth.. i don't want to say the outcome of this story but i am very interested to know what others would do...

Say its been 5 years courtship and 10 years married total of 15 years..

For the Ladies...
If you fell in love and married a man and later find out your man was a woman at birth what would you do and how would you feel?


For the Men...
If you fell in love and married a woman who you find out later was a man at birth what would you do and how would you feel?

I am going to be the first to answer..

My first thoughts would be i love this person i married this person and with it i'm including the sexual part of the relationship had to of been something good with all honesty to have courted and married. I made the descion to spend my life with this person.

The serious problem i would have in my mind always is this secret was witheld from me and i was not trusted and beleived in enough to have told me, this is what would tear it apart and i'd worry there would be more.
It is hard to overcome those feelings and thoughts.. you'd hope love is enough to overpower it all.

No matter how much I loved "him" I would know it was a woman and I'm definitely not into women so that would be the end of it.  I would "leg it".

blue

Very good point, it will be in your mind what "he" is exactly especiallly if you are a person that could not be into women at all. Alot of people could not handle it i myself love men only... so many years spent with this person would it change my mind..

I think that would be the problem I'd have. I don't really know how I'd feel if this did happen to me, but I would be surprised (DUH!) at it...But you never know now a days

If I found out my husband of 5 years was in fact a woman at birth, it would definately change things. I dont know if I would be able to stay, all my trust would be gone, and usually relationships dont last after that.

Or I could do what blue would do and "leg it"

 

Ide probably be on trial for murder.. 

hmm... tough one.  I would like to think I could stay, you know universal openness and love and understanding, but I think I would have a problem with it.  I doubt I would stay.  Actually I'm pretty sure I would leave.  I 'may' come back after time to get my head straight, especially if we had kids together, but I am not sure.  I just asked my husband if he would stay if I told him I used to be a dude- he said no way lol

I asked my husband the same thing, he just gave me a weird look and walked away

Ha! Good answer Jacob.
As far as the sex of that person, it wouldn't bother me so much as the betrayal.
"Leg it!"

ok...how could you NOT know?...is modern medical procedure that good where they can build a convincing , and functional ...ummm...."part", that you wouldn't notice franken-tool?

I thought the same thing max1, but there are some pretty 'blinded' people out there.  People who don't question further than what they are shown on the surface, people just looking for love etc.  It makes me think of a 60 minutes show last year (I think it was 60 mins) where a man and woman were married for years, and then he started undergoing surgery to be a woman. They have a son together.  The wife just took it in stride, she didn't want to break up the family although she also had no idea that he had used their savings to pay for it all... she was so blinded and didn't want to know.

You're right it is a tough one, this would be a great challenge in life, love.. morals, ethics, respect, trust.. etc.. almost everything is broken...
How much could be spared if anything at all... to me none.. at first maybe it wouldn't be the reason as him being a woman seems i could get over that shock, it's being so betrayed, so what they hid was not worth the sacrifice. They could say i loved you so much i thought the truth would risk losing you... as if to say you were worth it.. bah!

Women finding it a woman it seems to be an easier thing to at last swallow, but as for the men i have come across they answer "no way" or "i'd run" or "someones dieing" . The women at least give it some thought.

The woman having compassion in some form, the men don't even conscider the love at all lol

Theres also the embarressment facing friends and family members.

I probably would've been suspicious of the adam's apple all along and avoided getting so entangled with a person that would do this. But if it did happen somehow, I think the shock and betrayal for such a long time would be too much to overcome in the long run. What might surface next? That they're also a serial killer?

Wow that's a tuff question but i love these kind of questions.

Part of me would say you lied to me all these years and that is a huge betrayal. But by nature i am forgiving and would try to place myself in that situation and would understand to a degree why she did lie.

On the other hand this is more than just a lie its a major deception. I think at this point after 15 years together it no longer is a matter of me not being into chicks. Because the fact is i love this person and that can't be denied.

But i do think after much deliberation within myself i would have to walk away. Maybe not so much for the obvious reason that she was a female but at some point she never had enough confidence in me to tell me.

I put a lot of stock in trust and when i love i give it my all. This means sharing everything with my partner...the good, the bad and the ugly. I would share with this person the depths of my soul and would expect the same. Not only was i deceived by her gender i was deceived by her not opening up completely to me.

Lips