The Accused is NOT Guilty...

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          Mighty! Member
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        Someone accused me of doing something i did not do... it hurts me so deeply... and i'm having a hard time dealing with it... anyone have any advice on how to handle it?

        For some reason in this person i am guilty and won't listen to the facts and infact has made up thier mind that i am guilty... this accusation is based on how the whole situation "looked" and not weighing the facts as how it all really happened. How i am with ethics and respect for myself is not conscidered, not listening to me and simply beleiving others. The "other" just turned events into decietful lies of me for their own ego. This "person" beleives the "other" because the "other" has done some nice things for "person" in the past. I'm not a perfect people and have done some things wrong.. but what i got accused of i would never do.

        It's hard to explain the whole scenario... but have you ever been accused of something you did not do.. and aren't strong enough with defense to prove you did not do it?

        It hurts alot, even though i know the truth.. anyone have advice.. please help!
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        That's a really tricky one to deal with Imagin.

        If it was me (and I really am struggling to find a scenario here), I think I would probably be wanting to draw a line under it and walk away.  Maybe write this person a letter telling them the "ins and outs" so that you can get it out of your system and they can read it at their leisure and possibly, take it in and think about it and you never know, realise that you were/are telling the truth.

        Anger (assuming there may be some with the other person) blinds you and no matter what you say, they won't be listening.  Save your breath, write a letter and walk away.

        As long as you know the truth and you've told the truth - regardless of whether they listen or not (that's their choice) - there isn't much else you can do.

        That's the best I can think of without knowing the details (and please don't provide them - it's clearly personal).

        blue



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        OMG there is nothing more frustrating than being accused of something you did not do,especially when the other party doesn't want to hear your side of things. This has happened to me a time or two and it really does hurt your feelings. For instance when I was younger my sister stole money from my grandma, and my grandma to this day believes it was me...although she is over it by now, im still not, and there is no way to prove it wasnt. Anyway the moral of my story is just know you are not alone in this, and you are not guilty and as long as you know that that is all that matters, you are a good person, and I can just tell that by knowing you online, I can only imagine what a good person you are in life. You told the truth, they chose to believe otherwise, and thats all you can do. Love ya Imag. Be strong, and try not to let it get you down. You know the real truth in your heart!

        :-*
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        Since I don't know the situation I'll think of it as a personal one.  Lets say my mom swore I did something that I didn't but refused to believe me.  It would hurt really badly but if I truly were innocent and did not do what she swore I did I would basically sum it up to feeling confident enough to know that I was not guilty of the problem and until she saw or realized that then it was HER issue to deal with.  The truth almost always comes out in one way or another and the only thing that varies is the amount of time it takes for the truth to come out. 

        For as much as it hurts that the person doesn't believe you and it doesn't feel good to you they are probably hurting/angry/sad way more than you are hurt because they have to deal with their own feelings of being wronged and in their mind they feel you are guilty.

        If this person is angry or hateful it takes way more effort to stay that way than to forgive or get over it.

        The bottom line is don't let the hurt consume you..you're feelings are brought on by someone who is angry over an issue that isn't even true when it comes to you doing it.

        In other words if you aren't guilty then they are upset with you for absolutely no reason and if you stay stuck in feeling hurt you are in turn upset for no reason because the root of the issue doesn't even exist to begin with.



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        Well said Allgood2010, I completely agree.

        :-*
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        Hi imagin,

        It is never easy to be accused of something we have not done. At one time or another we all experience that. If we are not accused of doing something we have not done, then we are accused of being a person we are not.

        It is hurtful and it is painful, i understand how you feel. But if this person is really close to you they will listen to you and hear you out. If they chose not to, then they never really understood the type of person you are to begin with.

        I wouldn't get angry or rebel, instead i would talk strictly from your heart and how it makes you feel. At this point its not an issue of whether or not you did the deed, its a trust issue. The trust between you has been violated and this is what hurts.

        I hope your able to express your hurt and talk openly about how it makes you feel. If you hit a brick wall, and this "person" won't reason with you then you have learned something very important. They never really understood you at all.

        I hope it can be worked out and i am sorry for what your going through. Just remember, you are adored and there is people who believe in you....and some of them are right here everyday with you at LCB.

        Feel better soon.

        Lips
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        You all are so wonderful... you gave me many answers, i guess i was feeling alone on this... its hard not knowing who to turn to or get answers.. i do know the truth and thats what matters in the long run.

        It is painful and hurtful.. the more i fought to have the truth be and clear me of these accusations, the worse it got... i am angry myself and completely offended.. it's just something i'd never do..

        I should of just came to all of you!!

        Side Note: it wasn't about any material things as in money or a belonging.. it is in the moral/dignity/ethnic/pride of personal self.










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        Imagin.. I have been accused of something that I didn't do.  In many ways... I seem to be that person- or I was before I got a little older- that people either loved or hated.  There was no middle ground.  People were always assuming what they want about my character because of who my parents were (druggies), etc.  Actually I had a similar situation last summer when my dumb young cousin came to stay with me because she was homeless.  Even though I was helping her out, because she wasn't happy with my house rules she told my aunt a bunch of lies and now I don't talk to said aunt or her.  It does hurt, but I have a pretty thick skin now.  We can't change how people want to view us, all we can do is tell our truth.  Said aunt has now apologized and tried to make contact after seeing her stupid daughter do the same thing to another relative after me, and I will email very short emails but I have no desire to act like nothing happened.  I think what the above poster said about time, is good advice.  Sometime in the heat of things, influences outside of our control is their reality, but when things calm down they can see clearly.  I hope you will feel better soon- regardless what that person believes or doesn't believe.  It doesn't change who you are.
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        See thats another thing as toodleedoo said.. you try to do the right thing a selfless and kind thing for someone to keep them safe and healthy, and then gets turn all against you just by someone speaking words.. you wanted to help her out and because she wasn't happy.. spread lies.. and that can really hurt.
        I'm so sorry that happened to you, i have heard this happen to many others..
        God Bless you Toodle in all you did for her and you held your head up during the situation.
        I guess the truth someway does come through.
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        Living well will be the best revenge!

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