The down and dirty you

If you were to try and tell someone  about you in a few short sentences, how would it go?

I am 34 and tall with a medium build. I'm not ugly, but I ain't drop dead gorgeous, either.  I love to crochet and read slutty novels, but not at the same time.  I can be short-tempered and am definitely pottymouthed. I am too outspoken at times. I have the dirtiest sense of humor (my mind pratically lives in the gutter). I don't like to wear thong underwear because I don't feel the need for a crack floss.  I believe in Jesus Christ and I so want to believe in my fellow man. We grew up in an abusive household with one of my mom's boyfriend who I found out later was my real dad and that broke my heart.  I can't stand whiniers and have no tolerance for self pity.  Oh, and I love to play slots.  That's Wanda 

6', blonde haired, blue eyed
that's always seemed to have worked

At least you're honest--a very positive attribute.

What if men were that honest: (example) Hello Wanda.  I lie more than most, like kinky sex and expect you to play along.  I will deceive you at the first opportunity.  I live with my mother and don't keep up my hygene, body or dental---why am I even sitting here-I don't like to talk much less express my feelings.

Now that we've gotten that out of the way, I've have what she's having...

You guys are hilarious.  Straight to the point.  LUVS IT!

I play at gambling sites, i work at a gambling forum and i wake up thinking about gambling and no deposit chips and gambling promos. And when i go out i like to go gambling.

Am i a catch or what 

I can't help it I have to post to this one: I'm a closet gambler, I hate when people keep secrets from me but obviously I have my own. I use to hate my cancer scars across my neck but now that they are fading I almost want to have them re cut so they are prominent again. I have two kids but no patience. I only eat at night. And I smoke like a chimney. I move every three years and I love it

Oh, geez, if I had to be forhtright, I'd be single:
I drink, I smoke, I gamble, I'm blondezilla big-ass haired and miserable pre-coffee, a mommy's boy....*click*.....no love!

My husband won't be open with me about things I do to make him mad because he doesn't want to hurt my feelings.  I tell him I can take a hard truth better than a easy lie.  Thanks for being open.  We ALL have issues, but that's what makes us interesting.

This is sounding more like confessions