then the fight started...

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    Last post ago over 6 years by Rock222
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      Super Hero
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        • Started by
          Super Hero
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        • last active 16 hrs ago

        Thanks for this post from:

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        something to make you smile.....

        My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels.
        She asked, 'What's on TV?'
        I said, 'Dust.'
        And then the fight started...
        ________________________________________
        My wife and I are watching "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire" while we were in
        bed.
        I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?"
        "No," she answered.
        I then said, "Is that your final answer?"
        She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, "Yes."
        So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."

        And then the fight started....
        ________________________________________
        Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, grabbed
        the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the boat up to
        the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour.
        The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on
        the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day.
        I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. I
        cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation,
        And whispered, "The weather out there is terrible."
        My loving wife of 10 years replied,
        "Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?"

        And that's how the fight started...
        ________________________________________
        I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road and
        slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes you just
        get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny? Yeah,
        Well I couldn't believe it.... He was a DWARF!!!
        He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted,
        "I AM NOT HAPPY!!!"
        So, I looked down at him and said, "Well, then which one are you?"

        And then the fight started..... ..........
        ________________________________________
        My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
        She said,'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3
        seconds.'
        I bought her a scale.

        And then the fight started...
        ________________________________________
        When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace
        expensive...
        So, I took her to a gas station.

        And then the fight started...
        ________________________________________
        After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social
        Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to
        verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my
        Wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to
        go home and come back later.
        The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my shirt revealing my
        curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof
        enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application
        When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social
        Security office.
        She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten
        disability, too.'

        And then the fight started...
        ________________________________________
        My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept
        staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby
        table.
        My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'
        Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking
        right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been
        sober since.'
        'My God!' says my wife, 'who would think a person could go on celebrating
        that long?'

        And then the fight started...
        ________________________________________
        I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order
        first.
        "I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please."
        He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"
        "Nah, she can order for herself."

        And then the fight started...
        ________________________________________
        A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
        She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband,
        'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly.
        I really need you to pay me a compliment..'
        The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'

        And then the fight started.....




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        • Replied by
          Mighty! Member
          3,700
        • last active 5 months ago
        ahahahhahahah....Those were hilarious...LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

        Thanks for sharing!!

        :-*

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          Super Hero
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        Thanks for this post from:

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        Did you hear about the dyslexic Satanist?
        He sold his soul to Santa
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          Superstar Member
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        Thanks for this post from:

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          Super Hero
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        Thanks for this post from:

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        What's the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?
        The taste.
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          Super Hero
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        Thanks for this post from:

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        august those were hilarious.  I actually have tears in my eyes from laughing.
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          Superstar Member
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        • last active about 2 months ago

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        Lmao....too funny!!!
        Thank you for sharing,august...
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        • Replied by
          Sr. Member
          387
        • last active 6 months ago

        Thanks for this post from:

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        August way too funny ,I am still laughing and have read them several times...When i need a good laugh think i will just come back here and read them again.

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