What is your Doctor writing in your chart?

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    Last post ago over 5 years by kattboots
      9s1jj83

      kattboots

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        • 9s1jj83

          kattboots

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          Thanks for this post from:

          • Me
          • 2d4818989f1ca7ccfaccc9b2527a6916
          • Pi
          Ever wonder what the doc is actually writing down in your chart?

          HOSPITAL CHARTING BLOOPERS (actually taken from hospital charts)

          1. The patient refused autopsy.
          2. The patient has no previous history of suicides.
          3. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.
          4. She has no rigors or shaking chills,
              but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
          5. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
          6. On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it disappeared.
          7. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
          8. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
          9. Discharge status: Alive but without permission.
          10. Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
          11. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
          12. She is numb from her toes down.
          13. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated, and sent home.
          14. The skin was moist and dry.
          15. Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.
          16. Patient was alert and unresponsive.
          17. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.
          18. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.
          19. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
          20. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.
          21. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
          22. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
          23. Skin: somewhat pale but present
          24. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.
          25. Patient has two teenage children but no other abnormalities.
        • Index

          blueday

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            LOL  These are brilliant Katt.

            I love number 9. Discharge status: Alive but without permission and 18. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.

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            wnanhee

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            Hah ha ha...
            What an incredibly smart and funny list!
            My favorite one is number-4. She has no rigors or shaking chills,
                but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
             
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            Lipstick

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            Omg katt these are to die for!!!!!! And best part of all they are real! No wonder when you go see the doctor they hide that chart. Now i know why.

            Thanks for making me laugh!

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            Cat50

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             spin time

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            Thanks for this post from:

            • 9s1jj83
            ya katt im still laughing 
          • 2d4818989f1ca7ccfaccc9b2527a6916

            Johnny Karp

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            "Just play. Have fun. Enjoy the game." -- Michael Jordan

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            Thanks for this post from:

            • 9s1jj83
            Number four is my favorite as well, brilliant! Thanks a lot for the list, it made my day!
          • Pi

            Feelin froggy

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            Thanks for this post from:

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            17. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.

            LMAOOOOOOOOOO
          • 9s1jj83

            kattboots

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            Hey All! I am just pickled tink that you are all enjoying this list as much as I did! 

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