What would you do?

Hey Gang,

Today I get a call from a friend who has a daughter the same age as my daughter. They are both in the same Karate class. (She is 8 and in 3rd grade.) She tells me that she got a call from the school principal, asking her to come to the school, her daughter was fighting during lunch. She  goes to the school less then a mile away. She goes into the office and see this little boy with a bloody nose, and her daughter without a scratch. She goes into the principals office and he tells her, her daughter had performed some Karate on this boy and he wants to suspend her for 3 days.  She told him she wanted to speak to her daughter. She comes in the office and was asked what happened.  She tells them this, this boy kept trying to touch her private parts and she told him to stop like 4 times and he didn't. She even told the boy she takes Karate and is going to drop kick him if he did it one more time. He called her a liar and touched her rear end, she drop kicked him and then punched him in the nose he got up and started pushing her and she drop kicked him again jumping from a chair and kicked the boy in the face. She asked the principal what is going to happen to the boy and he replied "I am not sure yet." (What the hell is up with that?!?!!!) Her daughter was suspended for 3 days, but she still doesn't know what happened to the boy.

She doesn't know what to do. Should she discipline her daughter or not? To me this boy deserved it, and I would want to speak the parents. I wouldn't do anything to my daughter, that is why she takes Karate to protect herself. And the little girl warned this boy.
What would you do?

LH

one word LAWYER!!!

I'd sue the district for not providing for the safety of my child, demand the pricipal be fired and demand compensation for this incident as she might need a couple of sessions with a counselor.

That and a nice award for kicking some young pervs butt.

She has every right to defend herself. I am sure it wasn't sexual in nature, but noone has the rights to put their hands on you if you don't want. The boy was warned and she tried to avoid it, but he had to learn the hard way.  Another case of the victim being punished. I would be raising all kinds of HELLO. Keep us updated.

Genenco,

I agree, I think they should consult a lawyer also. I did tell her that. And I also think this little boy and his family should be investigated. I mean c'mon, he is in third grade and doing this, he is learning it from somewhere in my opinion. I am really curious to see what actions were taken with this boy.

I can tell you this, if this were my daughter I would have told her she did the right thing infront of the principal, and told her she was not in any trouble with me or dad,  because no one has the right to put their on you for any reason.

LH

I'd give this little girl a high five, and tell her she did nothing wrong in protecting herself.

As others have said, no one has a right to touch you if you don't agree to it.

This little boys home life needs to be looked into.  The parents should be talked to about their son's behavior. 

The principle I suspect didnt know what to do in this situation.  Then making bad decisions about punishment, and who should be punished. I would not let him off the hook ethier. Following up with an attorney or the school officials.

                                                                PMM

I would not have told off the daughter and I would not have stood for her being suspended either.  

What the boy did was sexual harrrassment and if there are no teachers around for her to turn to what else can she do but use what she has learned to protect herself.

How far would the sexual harrassment have gone had she not been able to protect herself?  The girl has a right not to be molested by some randy little kid trying to cop a feel.  If the boy was of a "legal" age he would surely have been arrested for his actions.....well over here anyway.

blue

There is no way id tell my Daughter off for protecting herself, that is something every parent teaches their child, you cant say one thing and then when it happens tell her shes a naughty girl. Id be asking to speak to the parents of this boy and demanding that my daughter not be suspended for standing up for herself. Makes me very angry to think this boy can do this and not be told it wrong. What happens in a few yeares time when he does it to someone else because he doesnt see it as being wrong. He needs to learn that RESPECT goes a long way.

I hear you on that and especially the boy SERIOUSLY needs some counseling as I remember that years ago a sex offender had started by molesting 2nd grade girls when he was 9.

Needless to say, he wasn't caught till way too late.

BTW get the news program on this also. They won't allow faces to be used, but this WILL light a fire under the idiots in the school district.

Blue PMM, My Darlings,

YOU SAID IT! I am pretty sure they are not going to let this go. When my hubby gets back from picking up my daughter from school I will ask her if this boy was still in school. Because if he was I will create a stink about it.

The little girl who did the butt kicken' didn't get into trouble with her parents, they are actually standing behind her as well as I am. I think everyone is still in shock over this. We live in a small community about 20 miles from a city. Stuff like this doesn't really happen here, well until  now anyways.

LH

Damn right too.  Who else is he going to do it to if he is not punished.

blue

Raise a stink is right.  Thats putting it nicely ..

Please let us know what happens with this.

                                      PMM

Without a doubt that little girl did the right thing in defending herself. She needs to be praised for that!

Way too often girls become stifled in fear when they are sexually harassed or molested. It's a horrible condition to face when boys as a rule are stronger. I applaud these girls taking karate classes. If it serves no other need for the rest of her life.......this alone was well worth it.

Not only should girls be taught to physically protect themselves, they should be taught to tell their parents! It should be reinforced and instilled not only for girls but for boys too, because both are at risk to be molested.

What is astounding is that 1 out every 3 children are molested in the US. What is more sickening is that in most cases it is relatives. It's a painful subject. In so many cases the child never tells. They are either threatened or made to feel they deserve this abuse or are too embarrassed to tell.

The life long emotional damage from being violated is in so many cases unrepairable. Teach your children at a very early age to always speak up. No matter how small or trivial it may seem, teach them to come to you.

As far as the school is concerned, i would tell the school they need to practice ZERO tolerance when it comes to touching another child.

Lips

Hey LHofsdal,

That is ALL bad.  I am not the type to call the police, but obviously there are some kind of issues in the little boys home, because little boys just don't run around trying to touch girls.  At 8, boys and girls both still have "cooties."  Maybe try talking to the parents.  But if it was my child, I would make a police report and let the authorities handle it.  Because "attempted child molestation" is a crime.
I am so sorry for the little girl and your friend.

Shelli

The girl warned him four times...and he DID touch her in a violating sort of way.  Get a lawyer. 

Hey Gang,

Sorry I haven't posted earlier but I really have been pretty busy with selling girl scout cookies with my daughters girlscout troop. Here is an update on situation:

After my daughter came home from school that day I asked her if she saw what happened in the lunch room, and she told me exactly what the mother told me. I explained to her that her friend did nothing wrong, she was protecting herself from someone who was touching her when they should have never been touching her. So then my daughter says this "Mom he does it all the time to boys and girls" I flipped out, called my friend and asked her to come over I wanted to talk to her. They came over about 7 pm that night, the whole family. I told them what my daughter told me and they said their daughter told them the same thing. I encouraged them to fight this because if I ever found out this kid touched my daughter I would be kickin some "tail" with a 2x4 and rot in prison if I had too.


Well Monday came along and I get a call from my friend, she had just left the school with her lawyer. The school did apologize for all of this and reinstated her daughter and cleared her record. Now for the little boy, he was removed from the school and Social Services is investigating the family. The school even offered to pay for counseling. I told her to take them up on it because it can't hurt and it might be a good thing for her daughter. I asked if she had mentioned that this little boy had been doing it before and she said yes and they told her this was the first time they heard of it. (My butt this is the first time!) That night at the girls karate class I made it appoint to go over and commend her for being brave enough to defend herself and that she did the right thing in protecting herself. She said her mom and dad told her that too and that she felt bad for this boy because was kicked out of school.

What a heart on this little girl, after what she went through she still felt sorry for him. God Bless her! That is all I can say.

LH

Hi LH,

Sounds like all the right things happened then.  Glad there was a good ending to this story.  I hope the social services sort the boy out too.

blue

Good to hear Hope for the boy to understand why that is wrong and kudos to the girl!

Not only the boy, but the school as well, not only 1 time but 4 times the boy was told, in the LUNCHROOM, that an adult/teacher/supervisor did not see this and stop it before it began. Makes you think about the protection our children really have in the schools today. You can't leave children alone, and this should of had some kind of disruption showing in the lunchroom, was it just ignored? How could it of not be noticed.. or was it?