Why gay??

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    phibbie

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        phibbie

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        Hi guys!  Just answered about same sex marriage and a question came to my head...
        I've always thought why people become gays! You know there are different theories ...One of them is that something happens during pregnancy! Whether nerves or stress...It sounds reasonable, I believe that it's given from the birth! How do you think?
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        drpsyce38

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        Let me give a bit of a clinical view.  It appears there are a variety of "causes" for being homosexual.  There are many who believe it is genetic, hence, the belief one is born "gay."  Though, there is far from 100% consensus on this.  There is some controversy in the medical/psycholgical field as to whether or not the "gay gene" exists.  Another cause is malfunction in the family of origin can produce homosexual traits in offspring.  For example, an abusive, neglectful father **possibly can** trigger the perfect storm that ends up exhibiting homosexual traits in a male offspring.  Also, an extremely smothering mother can also possibly produce a gay oriented man child.  (This can happen with females, if you reverse the genders in the above mentioned examples.)

        Now...having said this, keep a couple of things in mind:

        First, I am not stating homosexuality is wrong or gays and lesbians should be denied civil rights.  There just is a large body of research out there and I am simply giving a "chat room summary."

        Second, human sexuality is almost always COMPLEX.  The conditions that triggered homosexual behavior in one child, may not trigger them in another.  Talking about sexuality in broad, sweeping paint brush strokes is highly, highly problematic.
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        Lipstick

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        Hi Phib,

        I think being gay is not a choice, but rather genetic. The same reason that a person is heterosexual, is the same reason a person is gay. We don’t ask why someone is straight, and for obvious reasons…”it just is”. The same rule of thought should apply to someone gay….”it just is”.

        As far as “becoming” gay due to up bringing or life's experiences, that is a whole different subject. Just as straight people who are exposed to factors in their life cause them to splinter out of main stream sexuality, there are coping mechanisms. Some become more promiscuous while others abstain all together…etc. The psychological path taken do to environment goes on and on depending on the individual.

        I really struggle with one of the first thoughts that people conclude is that the reason someone is gay is due to trauma. It insinuates to me that there is mental issues.

        Whether straight or gay, the reasons for what we are, are the same. We were  both either born that way or in a small percentage, life's experiences cause us to take a different approach to our sexuality.

        Straight or gay…there really is no mystery to it…..the same rules apply to both.

        In closing, I'm not going to quip the stereotype conclusions that is so typically often said….”my best friend is gay”...”I have friends who are gay”…”my sister is gay”…it’s irrelevant. What is relevant is our sexual preference should have no baring on who we know, or what we are.

        Lips
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        genenco

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        Well, unless empirical evidence proves otherwise, I believe it's a choice.

        If this "Gay by Birth" or "It's Genetic" is believed, then how long before Pedophiles and others latch onto this method of supporting their sexual preference?

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        BIGLEAN

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        You get em' Geneco!

        I believe that their is a small percentage of people that it happens to genetically and that the others are just using that to justify their sexual preferences!
        I was watching a TV program one day on this and they did a bunch of brain testing on men/women and found that some of the men had whatever it is women have for braincells and vice versa... which causes them to feel the opposite of what should be normal Everybody else...is just gay! But hey whatever makes you happy....get ya freak on, get, get ya freak on
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        wnanhee

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        Hummmmmmmmmmmmm~~~~~~How 'bout, Let's not forget some women who were abused by their fathers, brothers, boyfriends...become  gays and I can understand. Were they born to be abused and changed?
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        Lipstick

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        Again, i think things that happen in our lives definitely have cause and effect.

        That goes for anything that happens to us. The coping mechanism to dealing with tragedy or trauma varies from person to person. I think if a person was sexually abused, turning to the same sex for comfort is probably not the answer. I would think dealing with it through some type of counseling would begin the healing process.

        I just don't necessarily think its fair to assume that there is some emotional issues for choosing same gender relationships.

        I have talked to many gays, and have asked everyone of them when did they first discover they were gay........the answer was unanimous.......from the time they were old enough to have a crush.......usually 5 years old.

        Lips
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        BIGLEAN

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        AGREE 100% with Lips and Wnan...
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        Shelli

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        I agree with Lips and Nan, but remember choosing to live that lifestyle isn't a BAD thing, it's a choice.
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        nalgenie

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        blah blah blah blah blah...


        there are more bisexual animals than there are are humans...do you suppose they were abused, beat, etc?

         
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        drpsyce38

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        Nagenie -  HA!  Well.....first, I'd ask you where you got your data from?   The research and data is not monolithic in their conclusions.  Yes, lots, maybe the majority, are homosexual with no significant environmental reason.  However, the data does clearly show that a significant number of people who now exhibit homosexual behavior were abused, had the distant-cruel father, a smother mother, etc.

        Now, to be fair, we can start a thread about outlying heterosexual behavior resulting from similar environmental situations.

        Again, human sexuality is too complex to attach any "this and only this" type conclusions.  This is why I believe one can have various opinions about gays, but they (homosexuals) should not have their civil right violated.
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        wnanhee

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        Thank you, drpsyce38 for great explaining. That was exactly what I wanted to say.
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        Deb321

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        I'm not really sure if it is genetic, or choice. I worked with a young man once that I was really close with and he was talking to me one night and told me he was gay but didn't really want to be. He told me he had been sexually molested by an older man when he was young and he felt unworthy of being intimate with a woman. He had many issues and was in therapy. I really felt bad for him knowing what he had experienced as a child.
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        Xander_Crews

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        I don't agree with that argument. Attraction to someone based on age/level of physical development cannot possibly be genetic. Gender clearly is genetic and so is gender preference.
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        Lipstick

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        drpsyce38 wrote:

        Nagenie -  HA!  Well.....first, I'd ask you where you got your data from?   The research and data is not monolithic in their conclusions.  Yes, lots, maybe the majority, are homosexual with no significant environmental reason.  However, the data does clearly show that a significant number of people who now exhibit homosexual behavior were abused, had the distant-cruel father, a smother mother, etc.
        [/quote]Data........and what are those percentages doc? Life is not all scientific and data...
        Deb321 wrote:

        I'm not really sure if it is genetic, or choice. I worked with a young man once that I was really close with and he was talking to me one night and told me he was gay but didn't really want to be. He told me he had been sexually molested by an older man.
        [/quote]Perhaps that is the case, but i do not believe that is the norm and i think the gay community would be insulted to think there is mental issues attached to what they are attracted to.[quote author=Xander_Crews link=topic=6676.msg43982#msg43982 date=1256042024]
        I don't agree with that argument. Attraction to someone based on age/level of physical development cannot possibly be genetic. Gender clearly is genetic and so is gender preference.
        I'm confused here....your stance is that its genetic?[quote author=nalgenie link=topic=6676.msg43898#msg43898 date=1256016257]

        blah blah blah blah blah...

        You said it well!!!

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