Hi Guys and Dolls,
I just had an interesting conversation the other day and i said i am going to pose this question to my LCB family!
Ok so here is the situation.......
Let's say you are engaged to the love of your life. And the most tragic thing happens, a horrible accident leaves you paralyzed in a wheel chair. Your fiance stays diligently at your side every step of the way and wants to go through with the wedding.
He/she has showed the deepest kind of love anyone could offer. Would you marry him or would you set him free?
Is real love through thick and thin or is loving this person so much that you set them free the purest form of love?
What would you do?
Would You Love Him/Her Enough to Walk Away?
Readers of this topic also read:
- A very difficult question to answer Lips as it is hard to put yourself in that position (if you are not in that kind of position already). That said, I would probably give them the chance to walk away and enjoy their life but if they chose to be by my side, then so be it. It would be their choice.
- I think I'd actually have them live with me for 3-6 months to really see how it would be. Then tell them, "I won't be upset if you feel you couldn't take it and left"
I know some would say "I need to stay" out of a sense of duty, but that's when love is badly misplaced and in later years they see they made a mistake.
- I cant find anyone to marry me and I am in 1 piece. I take that back. When I got divorced I said I would never get married again. I lost my soulmate in 2003 because she said we get married or she was leaving. I am still single. In my case I wouldnt tell her to walk away I would tell her to run for her life.
- Hmmm...if the situation were reversed and it was my man that got crippled I would not leave him because I love him sooo much. It would be a hard adjustment to get used to but an accident wouldn't change my love nor would I feel guilted into staying...that being said if it were me and he loved me enough to want to stay then I would hold on to him forever! I don't think everyone sees a handicap as a burden, just look at how many people have disabled children. If you were to ask those parents I'm sure they would all say the same thing...it's difficult but they wouldn't trade them for anything...why...because of LOVE.
- Great answers guys and i did think about having a handicapped child. There is not a mother out there that would trade them for the world.
But what actually prompted this question was because i felt completely different then my friend did. Her cousin went through something similar. Although she wasn't paralyzed she developed an illness that would would eventually leave her bedridden.
They were engaged and once she found out about this progressive disease she left him. He begged and pleaded not to let him go but she refused to burden his life.
I for one agreed with her and said i would do the same because i would be denying him children and intimacy would be greatly affected. Leaving him would be the greatest sacrifice of love.
However my friend strongly disagreed. She said she wouldn't give him up because more then likely she would spend the rest of her life alone.
If you did stay would allow your mate to stray to fulfill his needs? Or would that be strictly off limits?
- I would set him free. If he refused to leave out of his love, for me, I would love for him stay. If he stayed out of a feeling of obligation or duty, I would disappear. The guilt of "ripping him off" of a normal life would destroy you both. I did, let go the love of my life, five years ago. Heart felt, MissKaron
- Definately a no, no on the straying...cheating is cheating either way you look at it. If they chose to stay they knew what the consequences would be. You can't tell someone I love you babe...i'll be back in an hour since you can give me what i need....how degrading would that be for the person who is unable? That to me just means the person loves themselves more than they do you...and if that were the case then they should have left because it shows they are only there for the wrong reasons...guilt, pity, ect.
p.s... Lips, you need to get on yahoo or fb...we have some long overdue gossip to catch up on!!! lol
- People often use the saying..
"if you love something, set it free.
If it was meant to be, it will come back, If not, it wasn't.."
In my opinion, real love should never be based off of not being sure of what you want or what is right..
Real love, no matter what the circumstance, should never have to be questioned.
When you love someone, you love them for who they are and never WHAT they are or become.
Love is boundless..
In this situation, if they truly love each other, questions would never be necessary for whether or not they should continue their lives together..if they were engaged, they should never have any doubts over something like that...
And if they did, well then it just wasn't meant to be in the first place..
- Let's toss some reality into this discussion.
Yes, many would be caught up with "YES! You know I would still marry you!!! Our love is greater than that wheel chair!!!" I mean, how sweet! The stuff of a Halmark made-for-TV movie!
But....as time moved on....and years past by....
The statistics tell us these type marriages are almost CERTAIN not to last. And you can imagine the reasons. What young man is going to stay in a sexless marriage with a cripple, for example?
However, if the accident happened after years of healthy marriage, the chances are good it would last, though. People really diss marriage. But, the reality is a healthy marriage is a very powerful bonding force of stablity and able to withstand hardships.
And....."living together" has been proven not to be the same stability as marriage. Sorry "shack uppers!" Your may be the exception, but the data is in - marriage is still king/queen.
- I don't know what I would do. Honestly... no clue.
As for the cheating. Nope. That would be and has always been the one marriage deal breaker for me. I know some say if you work through it it can make marriages stronger..yadda yadda.
After 24 years and 3 kids, if my husband strayed... I'd walk.
There was a guy who auditioned for American Idol. His fiance' was in a bad car accident and was wheeled into the audition. She looked pathetic (sorry), not very coherent, shaking, etc. He loved her and said he would stay with her forever.
- I have another thought on this one...of course it's easy to "think" of what we would do in a situation like this but no one really knows for sure until it happens. Anyways what I was gonna say is when you think about it what is the real reason you are in a relationship with someone? For me,when I love someone the thing I love most is the company, conversation and just having those feelings returned, so why would I want to leave the person I love being at home with? I have friends to go out with, toys if needed, but the person who makes my day by just being there at home and watching tv with me, having dinner and discussing everything under the sun with is still there wheelchair or not.......
- Ahhh but my dear satan, spoken like a true female. We are nurturing by nature and put more stock in cozy time then men do. Maybe once your married for 25 years the guy is more content.
But ask any 25-30 year old guy if he would be content to sit by a fire and eat popcorn for the rest of his life with no hanky panky and i think most would hit the door in a heart beat.
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